Words from a loser: Slow and Steady

Once again Speedster is still firmly entrenched up top and now that Doctor Cook has found a scale and removed the question mark regarding his weight I am officially on the bottom of the group of competitors.

Honestly I take my slow and steady progress as a great personal victory, not being on the bottom as a painful weekly defeat. So ha! Chew on that!

I haven't been this light since 2005.

In recent memory (May 2009) I was dangerously close to that magical number that would designate me as a Clydesdale in triathlon events. A mere pound or two away truth be told. This is not something abhorrent, I would have raced a duathlon in the Clydesdale category with pride. It just would have hurt a lot more.

Half the challenge of any race for us larger types is lumbering one's own bulk along for the ride. It ain't easy.

Before this competition began, at the first team weigh-in for dragon boating this year I was a pack mule of 188. Just a touch under my normal "winter weight".

Dionysus would be proud. I have lost weight steadily week by week without compromising having a good time this summer. I am not one to starve myself when there are alternatives. Lack of fuel makes me tired and cranky and no fun at all. The alternative: eat something dammit!

Just make it something GOOD that is actually worthwhile. No crap will be tolerated by my tastebuds and stomach. They are my harshest critics.

More salads are thrown into the mix and junk food like chocolate bars and chips becoming almost completely absent in my diet is nice. Sure I miss some things, I never really consciously gave up the really GOOD chocolate (Just Us! bars from Nova Scotia...yummy!!) but when money and backpack space is tight...some things just stay on the store shelf.

I am no longer afraid of dying in the marathon, now less than a month away. I'll just go slow, knowing I have a bottle of La Fin du Monde waiting for me at the finish line. If it takes me six hours then so be it. The lessened load on my joints is already a marked improvement especially when I'm not grumbling with hunger which only makes other discomforts more noticeable.

We all need fuel to keep going. It gives us the strength to carry on.

Even a tortoise. Ain't 'e cute?

Trepidation and vindication

A number is a powerful thing: simultaneously capable of either destroying and confirming your confidence in weeks or years worth of belief. In this sense, my weight is also a number, and that number is good.

For the last few weeks, I have been incapable of finding a scale. I have to admit, a part of me shied away from looking all too hard to find one. My first Thinspiration weigh-in was quite disappointing. I was confident that I had lost weight. But then I was weighed, I was measured, and I was found... not wanting. Not only had I not lost weight, but I had gained a pound. And this was after subtracting the weight of my wallet and other items in my pocket. That's right, I actually weighed them. And my confidence in my strategy and my chances in this competition were brought into doubt. All on account of a number.

The strange part was that there was other evidence of weight loss that should have been irrefutable: looser clothing, clear evidence of having ribs, and a general feeling of being very very hungry. But it wasn't enough to be sure I was actually succeeding. I still believe my initial weight, pre-competition, is falsely deflated, or rather dehydrated from a particular arid day within my body. Nonetheless, I found myself strangely nervous this past Sunday when together with Thorn and celestialspeedster, we discovered a scale.

The fact that this scale was in use for measuring the weight of furniture was not particularly confidence building. However, against all odds, I have lost weight. Approximately 9 lbs from my starting weight. Our measurements during the last competition have confirmed it. And I feel great!

Further, I am back home again, away from fatty restaurant food, and ready to crush my opposition! If only I can find the energy to get up... sooo hungry and weak...

Fatty Weigh-in: Week 5

Competitor	Current Weight	Tally	Total
celestialspeedster	122 lbs	+ 1 lb	- 7 lbs ( - 5.4%)
Doctor Cook	171 lbs	- 9 lbs	- 9 lbs ( - 5.0%)
Flocons	201 lbs	- 2 lbs	- 11 lbs ( - 5.2%)
Opiate	178 lbs	- 1 lb	- 5 lb ( - 2.7%)
Royal Pinguo	140 lbs	- 0 lb	- 4 lb ( - 2.8%)
Thorn	170 lbs	- 0 lb	- 6 lbs ( - 3.4%)

Survey results: I find Thinspiration XXL...

• educational - 2 votes (28%)
• offensive - 2 votes (28%)
• charming - 1 vote (14%)
• caught between my teeth but easily removable with a tooth pick - 2 votes (28%)

Challenge #1: Burn to Binge results

In terms of strategy for the first Thinspiration XXL challenge, the majority of competitors had none. After weighing in, everyone, minus Royal Pinguo who could not attend, went for a run. Opiate ran 17 km, Thorn and Doctor Cook ran/walked about half of that, while Flocons and celestialspeedster resorted to the 30 second sprint, 1 minute stumble cycle that Halle Berry reputedly used to prepare for Catwoman.

The competitors made their way to The Burger's Priest (1636 Queen St. E.) on rubbery legs. Flocons, Thorn, Doctor Cook and celestialspeedster had the cheeseburger combo that came with fries and a drink. Opiate passed on the fries and doubled up on meat instead. Everyone marveled at how fresh the burgers were.

Doctor Cook was 'kind' enough to bring a jar of Strawberry Fluff back from Boston. Combine Fluff with peanut butter on Wonderbread and the result is a fluffernutter sandwich. After some beer and sake to wash the pink marshmallow down, the competitors returned to the scale.

Competitor	Pre Binge	Post Binge	Total
celestialspeedster	123 lbs	124 lbs	+ 1 lb
Doctor Cook	172 lbs	171 lbs	- 1 lb
Flocons	211 lbs	208 lbs	- 3 lbs
Opiate	176 lbs	176 lbs	- 0 lb
Royal Pinguo	DNC	DNC	DNC
Thorn	171 lbs	173 lbs	+ 2 lbs

Flocons has won Challenge #1 and his reward is looking like Halle Berry...in Monster's Ball.

Running Riot! Please Note: Headbanging while running is fun but highly discouraged.

As humans we crave distraction especially during points of stress and boredom, while undergoing something long and tedious. Distractions make the time flow just little less slow.

Running is very much in that category of long and tedious. All 6 of us are "runners" to a varying degree or have at least run at some point. I can thank Flocons for getting me into the world in 2004. I've never looked back unless I've tripped on something.

Running is long periods of introspection disguised as excercise. Introspection has it's necesary place but is slow and sometimes painful like running so we distract ourselves with different routes, traffic, conversation if running in groups and music playing, heart rate monitoring gadgets of all kinds. Without distraction we tend to drift in focus to the self-inflicted pain and discomfort and truly HOW LONG this running thing really takes... which just saps all the fun right out of it. Not allowing ourselves to settle into a groove and just go. Which is bad.

That being said there's only a few events I've done that HAVE NOT included some form of eardrum numbing tunes to help pass the time:

• triathlons and duathlons as they are not allowed on course for safety reasons (dangling cables + bike handlebars = bad) and also the events themselves pose significantly different physical and mental challenges
  
• the Twenty Valley Wine Run during which you have enough distraction between running through the vineyards of Niagara, drinking wine en route and chatting with other runners that serves quite well and you WANT it to take a long time. My favourite Personal Worst Time ever.

I learned the hard way how important distractions are when I ran my first and so far only Marathon. 42km of hell and the battery of my then mp3 player DIED with 15km or so to go. Let the true test of wills begin...honest I was about to cry. 42km on your feet can do that, especially when you're not even done yet.

iPod batteries holding a more reliable charge has resolved that issue. In no particular order here's a small selection of distracting tunage from my trusty-near-rusty iPod shuffle that have carried me through many a run:

1. Slayer : Raining Blood (really does it require any explanation?)


2. Tea Party : Sister Awake (Alhambra remix)


3. Radiohead : Backdrifts


4. Finger 11 : Quicksand


5. Daniel Lanois : Still Water


6. Alice in Chains : I Stay Away


7. Tool : Pushit (Live version from Salival)


8. Stone Temple Pilots : Still Remains


9. Korn : No Place to Hide


10. Pearl Jam : I Am Mine (I know I was born and I know that I'll die, in between is mine...)

I am not left-handed.

It is said that when it comes to weight-loss... your greatest opponent is yourself. Whoever said that would find Thinspiration XXL inconceivable. The truth is, I have 6 opponents. My wife who is steadily losing a pound a week... My 3 best friends, who have been catching up to me... My arch-nemesis (and unquestionably my best friend as well) who has been pulling away into the lead... Finally, myself who has been throwing up obstacles to better weight loss.

Well enough is enough. I've held back long enough. I've achieved my results to date from healthy eating alone. In the coming weeks, I'm taking the gloves off. I'm finally throwing exercise into the equation. I may also induce myself to vomit Kirby-style. You have been warned.

"My name is Flocons De Mais. You killed my weight loss. Prepare to lose."

The secret of my success

After four weeks of watching the competition waddle to catch up, I have decided to share my wealth of knowledge on how to achieve rapid weight loss. You're welcome.

• Stay a little hungry - I eat just enough to prevent myself from sliding into complete dementia, but a little bit of hunger is always gnawing at me. When I go to bed, I like to pretend that I'm Oliver Twist, or someone equally precious...and skinny.
• Exercise everyday - I do not enjoy taking time out to exercise, and that has been my downfall in the past. Recently, I decided to integrate exercise into my daily life by biking to work. Now, I get a one hour workout, at least five days a week, and it is a necessity, not an activity that must be scheduled in. Plus, it is actually enjoyable, unlike running, which is effective but tortuous.
• When in doubt, reach for water - Like Doctor Cook, I am losing touch with my bodily cues, and have trouble differentiating between feeling peckish, hungry, and depressed. So, I just drink some water and wait. If the feeling subsides, I was peckish. If it increases, I'm starving. If my face is wet, I'm crying.

I don't know how low this winning strategy will take me, but the anticipation is a killer.

Fatty Weigh-in: Week 4

Competitor	Current Weight	Tally	Total
celestialspeedster	121 lbs	- 2 lbs	- 8 lbs ( - 6.2%)
Doctor Cook	??? lbs	? lb	+ 1 lb ( + 0.6%)
Flocons	203 lbs	- 0 lb	- 9 lbs ( - 4.2%)
Opiate	179 lbs	- 2 lbs	- 4 lb ( - 2.2%)
Royal Pinguo	140 lbs	- 1 lb	- 4 lb ( - 2.8%)
Thorn	170 lbs	- 2 lbs	- 6 lbs ( - 3.4%)

The Time Lords ... and me

Is this a bad thing? When I'm on a training run and over top of the normal stupidly loud heavy metal, Daniel Lanois, and other oddities on my iPod I start hearing in my head...

The Doctor Who Theme, with images of the Tardis floating through my skull. Yes the iconic Police Box itself.

Where in the hell did that come from?!?! It's been years since I've seen an episode and it's one of the old school era versions stuck on loop between my ears. A variant mix of the haunting 1960's William Hartnell era and the later Tom Baker era tune.

After biking home and running my butt off, had that left my mind nutrient and oxygen deprived in the normal smoggy and humid Toronto air causing psychotropic images and sounds filtering through my mind? Because really, the theme is pretty trippy.

I had to take some time after getting home to collect myself...it was so odd. I consoled myself with more Hewitt's Goat's Milk ice cream, Raspberry this time. 125ml of which is about 37% of your daily fat intake. But so damn yummy. After 15k on my feet I figured I'd earned a scoop or four.

I'm craving tons of it but never satisfied. It's raspberry. Ice cream just isn't the same without it being chocolate, covered in chocolate, include chocolate covered nuts, chunks of chocolate or chocolate anything else for that matter. It's been a while since I've had chocolate anything other than a few tiny choco-covered caramel balls over the weekend.

That's it, the Tardis is telling me I need chocolate. I'm going into withdrawal. That or I was meant to go to Comic Con in San Diego this year and somehow missed the signs.

Damn you, after 50+ years of the BBC series I hope The Master finally kills you off completely this season, no more regeneration you bastard. I'll watch that with a bucket of chocolate covered fried chicken and a brownie filled gut-buster chocolate sundae.

The weigh-in this week is not going to be friendly.

Challenge #1: Burn to Binge

After four weeks of due diligence, the competitors will put all of their hard work on the line, this weekend, in the first Thinspiration XXL challenge event, Burn to Binge.

Competitors will "enjoy" a meal at one of the burger joints listed in the Toronto Star article. The two hours prior to the meal will be allotted to fortification against the onslaught of fat to come. It will be up to each competitor to strategize and execute a defensive offence or offensive defence. Weight, and possibly blood pressure, will be recorded before and after the meal.

We invite spectators and possible sponsors to cheer or jeer. Sponsors, inspect the competitors as you would inspect a gladiator, or a race horse, or a carnival sideshow.

To avoid reprisals from outraged citizens, we will reveal the event details to interested individuals on request.

For the love of God, body, take it easy. I'm sorry I ate so much!

I am in a tremendous amount of pain. Since we began this competition, I have lost weight. The numbers remain to be seen, but I'm fairly confident in that assessment. However, in the process, I have turned my body against me.

The strangest feeling part about having starved myself for so long, is that all of the hunger related feelings I should have are virtually absent. In the past, when I woke up in the morning, my stomach would tell me, in no uncertain terms, "Hey! Jerk! It has been 12 hrs. Where's the damn food?". I would respond by pouring coffee down my throat and thinking, "Shut up, you. Take this! Now you're too sick to eat anything". My body would respond with the strong urge to use the bathroom. We've always had a very turbulent relationship.

Later in the afternoon, my stomach would act up again, screaming, "You jerk! Feed me now or I'll make you dizzy!". I'd give in, though I would keep the intake really low, out of spite.

And finally, late at night, my stomach would resort to threats, "Eat or I'll grumble all night, and you won't be able to sleep", and at this point, I'd usually eat a regular meal. It wasn't a happy relationship, but at least we were on speaking terms.

Strangely, my stomach doesn't talk to me at all anymore. Every day that I've woken up in the past week, no noises. No conversations. Nothing. It's usually not until the evening that I think, well, I should probably eat something. It has been almost 24 hrs and the restaurants will close soon. Don't get me wrong, I'm still hungry. Once I so much as taste the food, I become voracious. I would probably literally bite whoever tried to take it away. The weird thing is, I've lost the biological feeling of hunger, at least within a 24 hr period.

The other terrible but wonderful part is the shrinking of the stomach. I just came back from eating... far too much. I decided to go to a local steakhouse here in Boston, called Longhorn's. I started with a 25 ounce beer. After that, I ordered a steak. I debated for many minutes what size steak, and decided that 6 ounces was too small. Instead, I went for a 12 oz steak. And an appetizer, some lobster and shrimp chowder. This doesn't sound too unreasonable, does it? Right...

First the chowder came out. It was enormous. The bowl was about 6 inches in diameter and 2 inches deep. I was full after eating that. However, following that was a Caesar salad, of similar proportion to the chowder. And a loaf of bread. And then the steak. With a large side of potatoes. I'm not sure, but I suspect I've consumed well over 3500 calories in one sitting. And my stomach is very very angry. Today was not a very good day for weight loss. I'm sorry stomach. You would have loved this in the past. But I realize that going from zero to hero only works in the movies, not in a biological setting.




Seriously, what on earth are we doing to our bodies??

A different kind of diet

Unless Doctor Cook and Royal Pinguo have achieved massive weight loss (or any weight loss, in Doctor Cook's case), it looks like I have come out on top again this week. I would like to thank Flocons's boss for putting his nose to the grindstone, thus allowing his backside to relax and have some Swiss Chalet.

With roughly five pounds to go before I reach my lowest adult weight, I know that I have a difficult road ahead of me. The last five pounds are known in weight loss folklore as the hardest lose.

To keep my motivation up, I have decided to focus on a new diet: a clothing diet. Dieters are restricted to six items of clothing for a month (does not include underwear). It is the antidote to the consumer binge that usually occurs after claiming that one has "nothing to wear".

An even stricter diet, the Great American Apparel Diet, bars dieters from buying for an entire year. That goal is pretty much on par with an Ironman triathlon in my mind - inspiring but not within my abilities.

With all the sweating that I have done as a result of the heat and exercise, I think I may have to postpone the clothing diet until fall arrives. But, imagine how satisfying it will be to wear the same clothes for a month, continue to lose weight, then discover that you must replace your entire wardrobe because nothing fits anymore. The anti-consumerist message is lost, but the end result is charity: I will give all my fat clothes to my fat friends.

Fatty Weigh-in: Week 3

Competitor	Current Weight	Tally	Total
celestialspeedster	123 lbs	- 1 lb	- 6 lbs ( - 4.7%)
Doctor Cook	??? lbs	? lb	+ 1 lb ( + 0.6%)
Flocons	203 lbs	- 2 lbs	- 9 lbs ( - 4.2%)
Opiate	181 lbs	- 1 lb	- 2 lb ( - 1%)
Royal Pinguo	141 lbs	- 1 lb	- 3 lb ( - 2.1%)
Thorn	172 lbs	- 0 lbs	- 4 lbs ( - 2.3%)

Inner City Pressure

This has not been a good week for me. There has been a lot of pressure at work, and I've been working late pretty much every day. It's not a good environment for weight loss. Some people lose weight when they are stressed, and some people gain weight. I am solidly in the latter group. When faced with stress, I eat junk and don't exercise. It's a common problem for a lot of people. Simply put, after a week like this, I would be putting on a lot of pounds.

In the heat of the moment, I went to my comfort food... Swiss Chalet. My brain approved of the sudden influx of food, sugar, and salt... a welcome emotional escape from the stress at hand, albeit temporary. Ironically, it was my stomach that disapproved. To my surprise, the recent training of eating less for dinner had brought my stomach on side with the virtues of Thinspiration XXL. It groaned that I had eaten too much, too fast, and too late. My brain (normally the champion of my weight loss initiative) looked down in shame. With my stomach as a newfound ally, I spent the last few days trying to get back on track. Is it too little too late? We'll know tomorrow at the weigh-in.

PS: Flight of the Conchords FTW!

Where are all the fatties?

As everyone knows, skinny people are better than everyone else. Here are some reasons why:

1. They are more attractive.

2. They typically sweat less and so have less body odor than all the rest of you fatties.

3. They present less of a drain on the health care system.

4. Kate Moss says so.

5. Weight loss inspires charity. Bowflex spokesman Brian Alvarez understands this:



And you *should* feel great Brian. Keep up the good work!

...

Since we've begun this competition, I feel thinner and therefore better than before. And, as such, I feel the need, nay, the right to gawk at all the fatties of the world.

As I've mentioned earlier, I'm currently in Boston. While on my way here, I thought, what better place than the United States of America to scope out and leer at fatties? Sadly, I have been sorely mislead. After almost one week of living here, I must ask the question: "Where are all the fatties?"

Television would have you believe that 63% of American adults are overweight or obese . Yet, where are they? They should be hard to miss. I examined a number of locations, from sports bars, to Best Buy, to Fenway stadium, home of the baseball team, the Boston Red Sox. And yet, nowhere near even 50% of individuals were giant fatties. The hero of baseball, Babe Ruth, was so grossly obese that he was unable to run his own bases. But his fans, who don't even do so much as swing a bat, are often reasonably thin. What is wrong with this dangerously underweight picture of Boston?

Someone is lying to us. Either Americans are not all fatties. Or Boston represents a low-fat oasis within America. While the humanitarian in me applauds the fact that so many people here are skinny and therefore better, the sadist in me laments my inability to laud my burgeoning thinness over others.

My only respite is to fatten up my fellow competitors in two weeks, when I return.

Food for thought

I think we might have our first competition challenge!

According to The Toronto Star, burgers should not be an everyday treat. Them's fighting words, Toronto Star!

Unfortunately, Opiate, Thorn and I live within limping distance of Dangerous Dan's Diner and The Burger's Priest.

What I propose is a meal together at one of the burger joints listed in the article during which every competitor must order and eat a burger. In the two hours prior to the meal, competitors may follow whatever strategy they choose to fight against the massive weight gain assault. We weigh-in the morning of then the morning after the meal. We can also measure blood pressure before and after the meal.

I'm sure this will enlighten readers the same way Super Size Me did. This is edutainment.

Delicious food that I could be eating

I'm currently in Boston, enjoying a different ambiance for a couple of weeks, and wanted to thank celestialspeedster for making this trip considerably less enjoyable. Curse you for proposing this competition!

Boston and New England in general are home to many delicious and terribly unhealthy dishes. I thought I'd share some pictures of all the wonderful food I won't be eating while I'm here. Well, hopefully not, anyway...



The Lobster Roll

This delightful looking heart stopper is basically lobster mixed in with copious amounts of mayonnaise, served on a hot dog bun. I'm dying to eat one.

Estimated % of daily calories: >50%

Boston Cream Pie

The basic composition of this amazing food, is cake (sugar, flour, milk, eggs, and oil); cream filling (more sugar, milk, eggs and butter); and chocolate ganache (chocolate and cream). This is also available in donut form. Surprisingly, neither is good for you. Sigh...

Estimated % of daily calories: Just put down the fork, fatty.





New England Clam Chowder

Soup? Surely this must be healthy? Guess again. Clam chowder is essentially just cream, potatoes, and clams, with some bacon and butter thrown in for good measure.

Estimated % of daily calories: 25%, for a modest serving. In the US, this size of serving doesn't exist.





The Fluffernutter

This might sound like something you would order in the red light district in Amsterdam, but it is in fact layers of peanut butter and marshmallow "fluff" sandwiched between two slices of bread. This creation was proposed as the state sandwich of Massachusetts.

Estimated % of daily calories: If you're eating this regularly, your daily calories are the least of your worries.

...

I hope this makes your mouths water, competitors, and that you give in to temptation.

To paraphrase a former colleague, "Giving up smoking, drinking, and unhealthy food won't actually make you live longer. It will just feel like it."

So just go for it everyone. They sell Boston Cream Pie in most urban centers. Think about it. I know I will...

PETA tempting me with cannibalism

When you quit smoking, they say that if you can survive the first four days, you'll be okay. Well, my addiction is eating... and the last week has been difficult. I dare say it is a contradiction of my raison d'etre. I have been eating less, and from the last weight-in, it looks like it's working.

It's not to say that I'm not tempted by food. Society tempts you to eat badly, because it's full of gastronomic pushers and pimps of all sorts of terrible food. It's easy to resist the obvious traps. The red-haired clown tempts me with burgers and fries. The white-haired colonel temps me with chicken wings. I say no to them with disgust. But what about the wolves in sheep's clothing? What about black-haired Jared who tells me that eating a foot-long sub is good for me?

Thanks to my calorie counting website (caloriecount.about.com), I know some of the dirty tricks of the food industry. You see, that foot-long sub comes with a foot long bun loaded with carbs and a foot of cold cuts that is full of sodium. It's better than a pizza, but it is nowhere near as healthy as a home-made meal. What about fruit drinks? Loaded with sugar... and real fruit juice is only slightly better. It's also high in sugar and devoid of the precious fiber that your body needs. Do you think trail mix and granola is the way to go? Take a look at the calories and carbs. Diet soda may have zero calories, but it's nowhere near as good as a fresh glass of water. Don't be fooled, my friends.

On that note, what HAVE I been eating? I've been eating more fruits and vegetables. I've been packing them as snacks. Not V8 or Fruitopia... I mean REAL fruits and vegetables. I've been drinking water like a mad man too. Water has zero calories and it fills you up. Fiber also does this very well. I've been eating fiber pills at that crucial time around 2:30 in the afternoon, when my body feels like it wants a snack. I allow myself one "junk meal" a day if my spirit is weak, but it's either during breakfast or lunch... never for dinner. I mentioned this before, but I've been trying to turn my dinners into a light snack. Either cereal or some fruits. I've finally been able to do this during the last 3 days.

I won't kid you. This dramatic change scares me. Today it was 3pm and I realized I didn't eat lunch yet. I didn't feel hungry. The day before, I had only an apple and celery for dinner, and it felt strangely normal. I've been taking multi-vitamins because I'm concerned I'm not getting enough nutrients. To top this off, I've had to battle with strange posters from PETA encouraging me to adopt cannibalism (see above). I would think that PETA would be happy that I've eating more fruits and vegetables, but instead they tempt me into eating humans! That's sick, PETA... almost as sick as your posters tempting me to eat kittens.

More words from a winner

It is hard to enjoy my second consecutive victory because I fear losing the lead at the next weigh-in.

For one, I have a competitor who is also refusing to eat, but has a lot more weight to lose. Now that Flocons is finally following the advice that friends have been offering for years and putting down that fork, I fear that he will become an unstoppable, rapidly diminishing force.

Secondly, I cannot eat any less than I currently do, and maintain my mental and physical health. My weight loss thus far has been mainly the result of portion control, but unless I start consuming nothing but celery, I fear that this strategy has run its course.

I may actually have to start exercising if I am to remain in the overall lead. In a faulty turn of logic, I have decided to join the Toronto Girls' Cupcake Ride this weekend. And, I hope to supplement bike riding with running, perhaps in preparation for an event in September.

Fellow competitors, I think it would be hilarious to have us run a 5K or 10K together. And maybe, end it with a cupcake or prime rib...no, wait...

The battle between my mouth and my legs to see which will hold sway over my back fat begins.