Special K Diet, Day 2: Enter the Kashi

Kashi is a new line of food products aimed at those who want to eat healthy and natural. They have issued the following challenge:

"Try a free box of Kashi Granola Bars. If you don't like them, I will eat the cardboard box they come in."

They also add this disclaimer in fine print:

"Laurie promises to eat a piece of the box, not the whole thing. His conviction is stronger than his stomach. "

Well, Kashi products are not an official part of the Special K Diet, but if I ate Kashi cracKers then it would add two K's to my daily K-count. I gave them a try today and they do taste good. They are 90 calories per 10 crackers. The crackers are small though. Coincidentally, a standard Special K cereal bar is also 90 calories. I will have to decide in the days ahead if I would rather eat a Special K cereal bar or 10 Kashi TLC crackers. In the end, I may choose neither.

I applaud Kelloggs and Kashi for trying to make healthier products and giving consumers a better choice of options... but I don't think cereal bars and crackers can complete with fresh fruits and vegetables. I find myself wishing that karrots and nektarines are not actually typos. I weighed myself today and I'm losing a bit of weight since my last weigh-in. Some progress thanks to the letter K.

Breakfast:

• Special K
• 1% milK (lactose-free)
• Scrambled eggs
• Toast and jam

Lunch:

• PorK and leeK dumplings
• Rice
• Shrimp
• Vegetables

Snack:

• Kashi TLC cracKers
  
• Karrots?
• NeKtarines?
• Special K (again)
• 1% MilK (again)
  

Dinner:

• JerK chicKen
• Rice

Daily K-count: KKKKKKKKKK

Master Mung Cleanse: Fear and Loathing (of Kichadi) in Toronto, Day 2

Day 2: Friday

Comments: My second day of kichadi. Cold, day old kichadi is the devil.

My goal: To survive.

Food choice: Cold, day old, soggy kichadi (breakfast and lunch), fresh kichadi (dinner).

Total old soggy Kichadi remaining: ~0.5 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements).

Total Kichadi prepared: ~1 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements).

Total Kichadi eaten: 100%

Beverage choices: 1 glass of Master Cleanse, minus the maple syrup; very few glasses of water.


General feelings about life post meals: Mildly depressed.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 2

Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 6

Side-effects of meal: Gagging and near vomitting (cold kichadi), fear and loathing of cold day old kichadi, severe hunger during hours spent delaying eating kichadi, uncomfortable fullness after dinner, due to need to eliminate any chance of leftover cold day old soggy kichadi.

Food related dreams or fantasies: Tremendous desire to eat anything that isn't kichadi and lie about it afterwards. While preparing kichadi, strong desire to accidentally add considerably more salt. Again, impulses to drop kichadi on the ground and eat it.

Occurrences of note: Friends offered me cake. Roommates cooked bacon while I was preparing kichadi. Coworker offered me watermelon. Repeatedly offered drinks at house party. Strangely, the overall feeling by the end of the night was very positive.

I should have done the Slim-Fast 3-2-1 Plan

The Liquid Diet was not one of my better ideas. My math tells me that I'm taking in the right amount of calories, but after consuming nothing but liquid for the past 24 hours plus, I'm feeling lightheaded, yet dense at the same time.

Case in point, yesterday, when I was trying to meet up with Thorn, the conversation went like this:
Thorn: "We'll probably arrive at the apartment at 6pm."
Me: "So, I'll meet you at 7pm."
Thorn: "No, I said 6pm."
Me: "6:15pm then?"

It is time to resort to the Slim-Fast 3-2-1 Plan: 3 snacks, 2 meal replacement shakes, and 1 sensible meal. I like the "sensible" part of this strategy!

Breakfast:

• Milk with Chocolate Ovaltine (2 cups)

Lunch:

• Life Brand Complete Chocolate Meal Replacement Shake (1 bottle)

Snacks:

• Fruit Punch (300 ml)
• Kashi Bar (1 bar)
  
• Japanese rice cakes (pack of 2)

Dinner:

• Some vegetables and starch - no meat as per my weekday vegetarian diet

I have not been so eager to eat solid food since I did the Kichadi fast. Thank goodness I'm not doing that! Haha!

Special K and Everything: Day Two (Friday)

I like Special K, but the 1 1/4 cup serving size is almost embarrassing though I can see that being feasible for people with different dietary requirements and lifestyles. Like Flocons I as always was also hungry very soon afterward even with the overdosed helping.

The bars are yummy too, but also not very filling, at 90 calories each I'm not expecting them to be but last night when packing my lunch for today I had to catch myself and stay my hand from simply throwing the remaining 8 bars from both boxes into my pack. I'd have eaten all of them by mid-morning.

I'm in trouble now, will be staying with family this weekend so healthy eating and portion control are both out the window no matter how hard I try.

Breakfast:

• Special K and skim milk (about 2-3 servings worth, small bowls are for dipping sauces not cereal)
  
• 1 Special K bar, vanilla
  
• 1 cup of coffee, skim milk and sugar
  
• 1 21g snacker size of Kraft Brick cheese
  

Lunch:

• Sandwich (same as yesterday but with more hot sauce and tomatoes)
  
• corn cob
  
• OJ 200ml
  
• 1 Special K bar, mocha
  

Snack:

• 1 granny smith apple

Dinner (arrival at the home of family):

• 1 HUGE ass steak, grilled with some mesquite seasoning
• fettuccine alfredo with broccoli
  
• grilled potatoes and peas
  
• Bick's low salt pickles
• olives stuffed with jalapenos
• 70% dark chocolate
• rye and ginger
• Pelee Island red wine

Exercise:
NONE. I took the subway to work, then the train down to visit family. Sat in a car being picked up at the train station, and after dinner watched 3 movies: Kick Ass, Don't Mess with the Zohan and The Book of Eli.

All in all I spent an inordinate amount of time sitting on my ass.

I didn't even get into the Liberte blackberry yogurt and PC Chocolate ice cream we'd grabbed on the way home. Too bad, those are yummy.

Special K Diet: Day 1

The Special K is filling initially, but as the morning wears on, I get hungry. Maybe that's why it's only PART of a balanced breakfast. I'll probably supplement it with something else as the week goes on. It was a tricky process to find food items that contain the letter K, but I was able to find 2 food products that had double K's in them. For those of you that question my logic of basing my diet on an alphabetical theme... well, you are not alone.

Thinspiration XXL has been a good development for me. In the past few weeks, people have been going up to me and telling me that I look like I've lost weight. This is quite the ego-boost and good positive re-enforcement of some of the healthy changes I've been making. On the flip side, in the past 2 weeks I've had people telling me that I look like I'm starting to gain my weight back again. My performance in the past 2 weeks has not been great. I made the long trek down to 201 pounds... but I started climbing back up to 203... and apparently those 2 pounds are noticeable.

Breakfast:

• Special K
• 1% milK

Lunch:

• ChicKen teriyaKi and sushi lunch
• Water

Snack:

• Carrots
• Rice caKe

Dinner:

• JerK chicKen
• Rice
• Corn
• Water
• Half a mango

Today's K-count: KKKKKKK

Master Mung Cleanse: Food & feelings, Day 1

Day 0: Wednesday night


Comments: My last meal before kichadi.

My goal: To indulge.

Food choice: Vegetarian burger with fries from a nearby Firkin pub.

Beverage choice: Pint of Richards White, with a slice of orange.
Second beverage choice: Pint of Richards White, also with a slice of orange.
...
Sixth beverage choice: Oh, you get the point.

General feelings about life post meal: Overwhelmingly happy.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 10

Side-effects of meal: Slurred speech, slight nausea, poor decision making ability, and terrible headache 8 hrs later.

Food related dreams or fantasies: Dreams of hamburgers. Again. Seriously.

Occurrences of note: Fueled by non-kichadi, I found the energy to sing in public and harrass strangers for hours.

Day 1: Thursday


Comments: My first day of kichadi. It smelled delicious. Smells can be deceiving.

My goal: To destroy the Thinspiration competition.

Food choice: Kichadi. Kichadi. And more kichadi. That is all.

Total Kichadi prepared: ~2 cups of rice (pre-cooking measurements).
Total Kichadi eaten: ~75% of prepared amount.

Beverage choices: 1 glass of Master Cleanse, minus the maple syrup; many glasses of water.

General feelings about life post meals: It could always be worse.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 3
Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 4

Side-effects of meal: Headache (see day 0), more frequent pooing and spitting, more keen senses, particularly as relates to how delicious other people's food must be, loss of overall appetite.

Food related dreams or fantasies: Strong desire to go for a run, if only so that I can lick the sweat off my arm while I eat, thus seasoning the terribly bland kichadi. Additionally, impulse to drop kichadi on the ground and eat it, hoping that the ground will have more flavour than kichadi.

Occurrences of note: Roommates offered me fried chicken in the morning. Friends offered me ice cream cake in the afternoon. I cried on the inside.

Challenge # 2 Day One

Breakfast:

• banana
  
• nature valley fruit and nut bar
  
• special k bar vanilla
  
• V8 low sodium 156ml (1 serving of veggie here!)
  
• PBJ (1/2 tbsp of each, reduced fat PB and home made blackberry jam) on 1 slice of bread (Dempster's Ancient Grains)
  
• Orange juice 200ml
  
• Green tea
  

Lunch:

• sandwich: whole grain flatbread bun, 2 slices salami, 3 thin slivers of old cheddar, hefty amounts of fresh tomato, onion and romaine lettuce with a dash of hot sauce.
  
• corn cob
  
• Orange juice 200ml
  
• V8 low sodium 156ml

Snacks (pre- & post-dragon boat practice):

• 1 tbsp garlic hummas (just polished off the tub)
  
• 2 Flash 5 bars
  
• 1 granny smith apple
• 1 glass Orange juice

Dinner:

• 3 slices cajun chicken pizza at the Sunnyside Cafe
  
• pint of Keith's White (did not eat the orange slice for some reason)

Exercise:

• 22km cycling
  
• 1 hour dragon boat practice

So it begins....I didn't wake up with enough time to have a bowl of Special K for breakfast so the bars had to suffice. The sandwich was my standard meat/cheese/veggie build but I lessened up on the meat and cheese, doubled up on the vegetation and passed on the mayo and mustard.

Challenge #2: Thursday food log

Breakfast

• So Good Chocolate Soy Milk (1 cup)
• 1% Dairy Milk (1 cup)

Lunch

• Life Brand Complete Chocolate Meal Replacement Shake (1 bottle)

Dinner:

• East African Split Pea with Sweet Potato Soup (1 bowl) from Fresh
• Apple Pie Smoothie - apple, ginger, banana, lemon, cinnamon (16 oz) from Fresh
• Miso Soup (1 cup)
• Chocolate ice cream (1 cup)

I have rarely heard the call of nature as often as I did today, and I miss chewing, already. Unexpectedly, I seem to have trouble focusing and making logical decisions. On the plus side, meals take no time at all because options are limited to the appetizer menu and they go down easy.

Fatty Weigh-in: Week 8

Competitor	Current Weight	Tally	Total
celestialspeedster	120 lbs	- 0 lb	- 9 lbs ( - 7.0%)
Doctor Cook	166 lbs	- 6 lbs	- 14 lbs ( - 7.8%)
Flocons	203 lbs	- 0 lb	- 9 lbs ( - 4.2%)
Opiate	175 lbs	- 5 lbs	- 8 lbs ( - 4.4%)
Royal Pinguo	??? lbs	? lbs	- 2 lbs ( - 1.4%)
Thorn	168 lbs	+ 1 lb	- 8 lbs ( - 4.5%)

Challenge #2 diet strategy: Special K Diet

Voro cerealis amplus. I'm going back to my roots by choosing the Special K Challenge. Special K has always been marketed as "the weight loss cereal" but I'm not sure if that's nutritional fact or clever marketing.

Now as much as I'd like to eat cereal for a whole week, I don't believe this is a feasible diet. So I will eat Special K for breakfast for a whole week, then I will try to eat at least one food item that contains the letter K during each of the other meals. Things off the top of my head include:

• Kiwi fruit
• Key lime pie
• Krispy Kreme donuts
• Rice Krispies squares
• Black Angus beef

Challenge #2 diet strategy: The Liquid Diet

Current practice: weekday vegetarian surviving on 1300 calories a day
After taking up the challenge of going meat-free for a week, I have been a weekday vegetarian for the past two years. I can only vouch for the safety of animals on weekdays because I enjoy eating meat too much.

Diet plan of choice: The Liquid Diet
In an attempt to curry favour through direct marketing, I am targeting the one voter who wanted to put meal replacement shakes to the test by making his/her dream come true. Hopefully, s/he will make my dream come true and sponsor me.

For Challenge #2, I will consume nothing but liquids for nutritional sustenance. My diet will include the aforementioned meal replacement shakes, but may also include soup, beer, and foods that liquefy with the use of heat or a blender. On that last note, it is highly likely that I will become a vegetarian for the duration of the challenge to avoid liquefied meat.

Diet strategy advantage: My jaw muscles may atrophy due to lack of chewing and atrophied muscles weigh less.

Challenge #2 diet strategy: Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted

In the words of a great man...er...robot I'm boned!!

Right off, as noted in a previous post life itself is aiding and abetting my competitors and I simply have to adapt as best I can.

The marathon being barely 10 days from the start of the challenge, any major diet shift at this point is incredibly unwise. I think it might be fun to actually survive the event I've tried to train for all year with a moderate degree of success. Yes, it would be.

Then there's the family bbq right smack in the middle of this challenge...yay.

Diet Plan of Choice:
Everything. Literally I'm not kidding. Using a blend of Special K, Jared's Subway madness, portion control as best as possible and a simple replacement method to swap out my slightly unhealthier eats with healthier ones. Much of which I've already done so since the start of the competition so I have very little wiggle room, once again I'm boned.

Special K cereal, bars and skim milk already acquired to replace my (not much) heavier nibbles and whopping 1% milk. Rather than Subway itself I will be making my own healthier sandwiches to have better control of the fat, salt and sugar content in these meals. Hopefully I'll be able to make something palatable.

The bbq, well that will break my back here or at least pop the buttons off my pants I'm sure.

Final chorus, sing it with me!! I'm boned!!!

Challenge #2 diet strategy: Master Mung Cleanse

Diet plan of choice: Combination of Master Cleanse (lemon water) and an Ayurvedic diet consisting solely of Kichadi (basmati rice, mung beans, spices)

Allowed solid food:

Kichadi:

• 2 cups basmati rice
• 1 cup split mung (beans called mung dal in Indian grocery stores)*
• 8-12 cups water, depending on how liquid you want the kichadi
• 2 Tbsp. ghee (clarified butter) OR olive or sunflower oil
• 1 tsp. ground cumin
• 1 scant tsp. ground coriander seeds
• ½ tsp. turmeric powder
• 3-5 whole cardamom pods
• 1-2 tsp. powdered ginger
• A pinch of sea salt or kelp

*Mung omitted for the first 3 days

Allowed liquids: Water, herbal (caffeine free) tea, or lemon water

Master Cleanse lemon water:

• glass of water
• half a lemon
• pinch of cayenne
• [omitted] 2 tbsp Maple syrup

General instructions: You can eat or drink what you want, when you want, of the above food and liquids. However, no other food or drink is allowed. No alcohol. No caffeine.

Rationale behind challenge strategy: Eat food that encourages pooing and drink liquid that encourages vomiting. Both food and liquid are reportedly bland, or unpleasant, thereby encouraging anorexia. It's the perfect trifecta of weight-loss.

Feared potential side-effects: Fatigue, terrible caffeine headaches, vomiting, begging friends for a lunch-time "trade-sie", uncontrollable crying, and uncontrollable pooing(?).

...

As scary as this may be, however, I remind myself how much worse it could be. I could be the middle or the tail end of the human centipede. This movie may suit bulimics due to its propensity to induce vomiting.

Meat the Stars of Thinspiration XXL!

On Monday September 6th, you will have a chance to meet your favorite Thinspiration XXL competitor* IN PERSON at the Burlington RibFest! Since our blog is SO POPULAR, we have been invited (by ourselves) to make a special guest appearance at Canada's largest RibFest!

The stars of Thinspiration XXL will be available to sign autographs on paper or body parts of your choosing. We will also be accepting food donations (like ribs or blooming onions) for the "Victims of Whatever..." fund benefiting the victims of whatever**. Please give generously.

We look forward to meeting all our fans. See you at the Burlington RibFest!

*Unless your favorite competitor is Opiate. Due to contractual obligations, Opiate will be unable to attend the Burlington RibFest.

**Food donations may be consumed on the spot by the stars of Thinspiration XXL due to public health concerns preventing us from shipping perishable food products to the actual victims of whatever. Despite this, we encourage you to give generously.

Challenge #2: Money to Burn

Some Thinspiration XXL competitors have lost sight of the goal, and become mired in fatty, tasty foods. Thankfully, the commercial market is full of weight loss products to pour our money (and hopes and dreams) into.

Taking reader requests from the most recent survey into account, competitors will follow a commercial diet for one week. Readers will be able to track daily food logs from each of the competitors and, by the next weigh-in, learn which diets work...to induce the most whining and crying.

Competitors will outline their diet strategies before Thursday then execute their plan in the week leading up to the next weigh-in. Much finger wagging and scientific tom foolery to come.

Survey results: Which commercial strategy would you like Thinspiration XXL competitors to test out so you don't have to?

• Special K Challenge - 2 votes (33%)
• Meal replacement shakes and bars - 1 vote (16%)
• The Jared Subway Diet - 3 votes (50%)
• Something expensive like Weight Watchers - 0 votes (0%)