Catwoman Competitor Profile: celestialspeedster

My body looks similar to this Miss Thailand Universe contestant (32 - 28 - 37) but less winsome

Current body measurements

Bust: 32.5"

Waist: 27.6"
Hips: 37.8"
Thighs: 20.9"
Upper arms: 10.2"

Feelings about becoming Catwoman: I look forward to watching my competitors parade around in a catsuit.

What I already have in common with Catwoman: Female body parts, a love of cats, warring desires to kiss and kill men.

Strategy for becoming Catwoman: Increase my bust, decrease my waist, improve flexibility with the help of a scratching post.

October is Catwoman Competition Month

During the original Thinspiration XXL weight-loss competition, competitors not only feared the scale, but also the scales of justice as the untimely demise of Doctor Cook looked increasingly plausible, sure to be followed by charges of 'Counselling to commit suicide'.

Much to everyone's relief, the weight-loss competition is over, and we can all focus on what really matters: looking good in a skin-tight outfit.

On October 31, Thinspiration XXL competitors will use Halloween as a socially acceptable excuse to wear catsuits. The fear of public shame will drive the competitors to not only lose weight, but to exercise and develop attractive muscle tone.

New competitor profiles, featuring current body measurements and strategies for transforming into a sexually attractive yet morally ambiguous vigilante will be posted shortly.

P.S. Readers who were hoping to have their 5K and triathlon desires met will not be disappointed. Stay tuned!

A Lesson Learned

Regardless of it satisfying some innate childhood fantasy and I am reminded of arguments with my parents as to the contrary; I understand their arguments were sound and they were truly and rightly correct. 100% without a doubt:

Chocolate Ice Cream for dinner, in dinner size portions, is a bad idea.

Just so we're all clear on that.

Yes I have done this. It was yummy and an extraordinarily bad idea. I REGRET NOTHING!!!

My name is Opiate. I am a life-long chocolate addict.

Though chocolate ice cream has many wonderful nutritional things in it a body needs to be healthy like you know.... chocolate (calcium, Vitamins A, B2, B12 are in there too as nice bonuses I guess), as with anything yummy that too much of a good thing is also very true. As my taste buds rejoiced my stomach turned into a war-torn state in the throws of a violent rebellion as was expected but did not deter.

Whatever possessed me to eat so much ice cream? I had chocolate ice cream in my freezer.

And a spoon.

I found the picture above on Scoop Adventures, a blog about ice cream: making it and loving it. It includes recipes. A great one I'd like to try is the Blueberry yogurt popsicles. She also has a recipe for a Praline and Bacon flavour.

Central to this find though is the chocolate stout ice cream and the recipe uses of all things Young's Double Chocolate Stout from the UK. One of my personal favourites of all time and guaranteed massive calories per bottle.

Avoid at all costs if you

1. don't like beer
2. don't like chocolate
3. are trying to stay away from high amounts calories contained in single-serving-sized attractive bottles filled with yummy brewed liquid that you are likely to like far too much
   

I'll drink this stuff but the case.

Some healthier(ish) chocolate options:

• Nature Valley Dark Chocolate Trail Mix bars
• Kashi Chocolate fudge coconut, dark chocolate cherry, and mocha almond bars
  
• Any good quality 70% or higher dark chocolate and a glass of nice red wine
• Nutella
• Chocolate covered strawberries, cherries, any berries you like!!

Now that I am out of ice cream, dinner tonight will be something entirely different, chocolate free....and likely containing jalapenos.

Survey results: How would you like to be edutained by the competitors next?

• 5K run - 2 votes (50%)
• Body measurements - 0 vote (0%)
• Fitness test - 0 vote (0%)
• Triathlon - 2 votes (50%)
  

Hibernation is not an option

Scientists are currently researching how bears are able to sleep all winter and lose the fat they pack on prior to hibernation yet almost none of their muscle mass. Until science reveals the magic behind hibernation, I will need to work out over the winter to maintain the muscle that I have built up during the summer, though heavy clothing will hide all sins.

I have considered my winter workout options and list them here:

Running - Running in winter is unpleasant, but it is safer than biking in the cold, and burns more calories in less time, minimizing my time outdoors. Personal record: -13C. Goal: break personal record if global warming doesn't get in the way.

Swimming - Regular public displays in a bathing suit will give me incentive to keep the fat under control...oh, and the exercise will be good, too. Goal: swim no more than once a week for 30 minutes, because chlorine is hell for hair.

Snowboarding - Snowboarding has made me feel a kinship with MMA fighters, because since buying my own snowboard two winters ago, I understand how taking a beating is exhausting. Plus, all the push ups I do to pick myself up after falling over are awesome for defining my arms. Goal: snowboard when snow is present.

I will also be participating in other cold weather activities like stamping my feet at the bus stop, jumping over moats of snow run-off, and heavy lifting of sweaters, hats and coats.