Where are all the fatties?

As everyone knows, skinny people are better than everyone else. Here are some reasons why:

1. They are more attractive.

2. They typically sweat less and so have less body odor than all the rest of you fatties.

3. They present less of a drain on the health care system.

4. Kate Moss says so.

5. Weight loss inspires charity. Bowflex spokesman Brian Alvarez understands this:



And you *should* feel great Brian. Keep up the good work!

...

Since we've begun this competition, I feel thinner and therefore better than before. And, as such, I feel the need, nay, the right to gawk at all the fatties of the world.

As I've mentioned earlier, I'm currently in Boston. While on my way here, I thought, what better place than the United States of America to scope out and leer at fatties? Sadly, I have been sorely mislead. After almost one week of living here, I must ask the question: "Where are all the fatties?"

Television would have you believe that 63% of American adults are overweight or obese . Yet, where are they? They should be hard to miss. I examined a number of locations, from sports bars, to Best Buy, to Fenway stadium, home of the baseball team, the Boston Red Sox. And yet, nowhere near even 50% of individuals were giant fatties. The hero of baseball, Babe Ruth, was so grossly obese that he was unable to run his own bases. But his fans, who don't even do so much as swing a bat, are often reasonably thin. What is wrong with this dangerously underweight picture of Boston?

Someone is lying to us. Either Americans are not all fatties. Or Boston represents a low-fat oasis within America. While the humanitarian in me applauds the fact that so many people here are skinny and therefore better, the sadist in me laments my inability to laud my burgeoning thinness over others.

My only respite is to fatten up my fellow competitors in two weeks, when I return.