Thinspiration: One compound word with the power to evoke so much change in one's life. Allow me to share some of the life lessons I have learned in my recent months of blog silence, presented in Q & A form.
Q. "Just what have you been eating lately?"
A. "My taste buds have run quite the gamut of late, partaking of items such as duck tongue and gizzard, liters of Lipton Instant Chicken Noodle Soup, dozens of Tootsie Pops, McDonald's and Burger King by the handful, cake, cupcakes, cookies, a container of frosting, and a pound of chocolate covered coffee beans."
Q. "A diet of predominantly candy and chocolate covered coffee beans? Are you insane?"
A. "Yes. But I ate better than any of you suckers. In fact, for a few days there, all I ate were suckers."
Q. "Did you gain massive amounts of weight? Did you give yourself diabetes?"
A. "No. Contrary to popular belief, diabetes is not linked directly to sugar intake, but rather to obesity. And, coupling candy with my well-entrenched anorexic tendencies, any weight changes were minimal."
Q. "Surely there must have been some consequences. How are you still alive?"
A. "Surprisingly not. The only odd and slightly disturbing observation following 3 days of eating dozens of tootsie pops was the odor of candy in my urine! However, this effect is nothing compared with eating Lipton Instant Chicken Soup even two days in a row. Both the color AND odor of urine soon matches the soup, perhaps hinting at its origin."
Q. "Would you recommend others adopt a candy regime in lieu of 'sensible' diets?"
A. "Yes."
Q. "Will you return to glory in the next installment of Thinspiration, if it ever happens?"
A. "How dare you suggest that I ever left my state of glory?!" *storms off*
