Killing me softly with your food...

An old friend invited Royal Pinguo and a few of our friends to a decadent dinner at their home. In our busy lives, it is a luxury to be able to sit down with friends and have a REAL meal together... A meal that we didn't order over a telephone or a fast food counter. This was a remarkable meal worth blogging about. Our hosts stayed up until 3am in the morning to prepare this dinner, and they spared no expense. Quite simply, it was the most delicious home-made dinner I've had in memory. It started with bruschetta and mini-quiches. I was told not to fill up on this because it was only a warm-up.

I saw the BBQ being fired up and several rib-eye steaks being grilled to perfection by the resident steak expert. Our gracious hosts advised us to fill up on the steak. If it wasn't enough then they would have "plain rice" as filler.

The "plain rice" was actually mushroom risotto, the host's signature dish. I never really knew why risotto was such a big deal until I had this dish. Our host also prepared steamed mussels for us.

Royal Pinguo and I had seconds and were very full. Then our hosts said "Wait, we also have dessert!" They brought out small ceramic cups and started sprinkling sugar over the contents... then they brought out the mini-torch, we realized that dessert was creme brulee!

Royal Pinguo and I shared one between us... our stomaches couldn't fit any more delicious food. At the end of the evening, we sat around the leftovers and talked until the early hours of the morning. I must thank our gracious hosts for putting together such a wonderful meal. It was truly a treat.

Epilogue:

Since this is the Thinspiration XXL blog, I have pondered the consequences of this meal. It meant that I gained 2 pounds this week. That was not good. Throughout these last 10 weeks, I've cut the junk food from my diet, and I believe I've done a good job on this. But what about amazing food? It's much easier to say no to fried chicken than to say no to a well cooked steak. In these cases, portion control seems like the best way to go. I don't think I did a good job of that in this particular case... Do I regret that? Not a chance. :)

DOs & DON'Ts of Weight Loss - The secret of my failure

The fact that my post-marathon weight is higher than my pre-marathon weight does not actually surprise me. What does surprise me is how quickly I fell into old habits again. So I've re-learned a few things the hard way. Read this imagining it in your chosen voice of FISH if you wish.

Do:
Portion control. Tupperware was invented for a reason so choose when to put down the fork fatty. You stopped being hungry 10 minutes and 12 mouthfuls ago.

Don't:
Be a glutton. Eating an entire 14" pizza washed down with 2 pints of beer, or an entire large pot of pasta that could have been 3 days worth of lunches and a pound of chocolate macaroons all in one sitting, is generally a bad idea.

By the numbers: 7 pieces of macaroons = 48% of your suggested daily fat intake. A pound has roughly 50 pieces. So if I'm using this number button thingy correctly nearly 340% of your daily dose of lard in a tasty chocolate treat.

Do:
Get off your ass. Join a social sports club, go for a bike ride, do something. Get outside and get some sun. I don't care if there's a window in your living room, you're on the wrong side of it.

Don't:
Sloth. Sit on said "ass" and play video games, watch tv, etc. Cave dwellers pack on pounds and become fatties. Sunshine is not evil. Banging Morrigan in Dragon Age does not constitute physical activity.

Do:
Have a goal that doesn't involve eating a pound of chocolate. A goal weight, a goal race, a goal of any kind. Something to drive your initiative towards activity and movement.

Don't:
Procrastinate. Boxes don't unpack themselves, shelves don't put themselves together, and laundry doesn't get silently put away by meek enslaved elves. Likewise training for any new athletic goals have to be started sometime. Strap those shoes on and get to work or it will never happen.

I am guilty of all of these DON'Ts in the past week and haven't had any luck with Morrigan yet either. Double fail.

The belt has gotten tighter for sure. The real challenge is not necessarily losing the pounds. It's the maintenance and discipline to keep them off and in the run aftermath I've been losing ground to my own lazy impulses.

Fatty Weigh-in: Week 10

Competitor	Current Weight	Tally	Total
celestialspeedster	121 lbs	+ 1 lb	- 8 lbs ( - 6.2%)
Doctor Cook	166?? lbs	? lb	- 14 lbs ( - 7.8%)
Flocons	203 lbs	+ 2 lb	- 9 lbs ( - 4.2%)
Opiate	178 lbs	+ 3 lbs	- 5 lbs ( - 2.7%)
Royal Pinguo	138 lbs	+ 1 lb	- 6 lbs ( - 4.2%)
Thorn	168 lbs	- 0 lb	- 8 lbs ( - 4.5%)

Thinspiration XXL Finale on September 19

Ladies and gentlemen,

The Thinspiration XXL Final Weigh-in will take place on:

Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Musket (40 Advance Rd, Toronto, ON)

Prior to gorging on wiener schnitzel and pork hocks, we will determine who is the thinnest of us all. Prepare to be amazed!*

If you would like to attend, please RSVP to celestialspeedster.

*Not a guarantee of amazement; more like wishful thinking.

The Final Leg: The (Obese) Tortoise and the (Thin) Hare

The obese tortoise slowly waddles past the sleek hare, whose utter contempt for his competition leads to his ultimate defeat. The intended moral is that "slow and steady wins the race". This is ludicrous. Fast and steady wins the race. EVERY TIME! The real moral is, when competing with a loser, pick the slowest one so that you can sleep as long as possible.

And that, my friends, is what I have done.

For the final leg of this competition, now that I am clearly in the lead, I will realize my "inner hare" and watch languidly as my obese tortoise competitors struggle futilely to catch up.

My plan for the final days of this competition are, thus, as follows: eat whatever I like, drink liberally, exercise rarely if ever, and sleep an hour longer than usual. Through this, I hope to prove that arrogance and bitchiness are an integral and necessary component of victory, and that obese tortoises only pass sleek and thin hares in fairy tales, and not in weight loss competitions.

In all seriousness, I'm thin enough to fit another person into my clothes along with me, and I don't want to lose any more weight. I have nothing but respect for my competitors, who were stuffing their faces with ribs (weight gain) while I reacquainted myself with my bathroom and the wonderful world of fiber (weight loss).

Survey results: The Thinspiration XXL finale should be held at...

• The Musket Restaurant- 6 votes (60%)
• Mandarin Chinese Restaurant - 0 vote (0%)
• Mongolian Grill - 1 vote (10%)
• Brazilian Steakhouse - 2 votes (20%)
• McDonald's - 1 vote (10%)

This medal costed me 3455 calories

I never hit "The Wall". I ran the whole damn way with the wall on my back. 42.2km of "The Wall". Normally reserved for the vicinity of the 30k point to most when the body has burned and depleted what little remained of it's stored fuel, locks up and begins to fail, I ran through that imaginary brickworks feeling much as I did since waking up and the start gun had not yet sounded.

That being Hungover and my body locked up and ready to fail. I've raced in pretty rough shape in Montreal many a time, but for dragon boating where if you're not hungover on the Sunday's races you weren't trying hard enough the night before and is considered an inexcusable insult to your team. Well my team at least Trout bless them the drunken bastards.

REAL pain had waited until barely 6 km left, as I rounded a bend and caught sight of the tower of the Olympic Stadium in the distance. Knowing me too well and that I was unlikely to slow down let alone stop to stretch at this point, it was here where my calves, shins, knees and hips all decided to go into revolt.

Last night I couldn't resist. To the west was an awesome sunset, the east held a spectacular rainbow, there was some pretty rocking bands on stage, and I had a good beer in hand.

Then another. And another. I enjoy my good omens too much. I am also guilty of drunk-texting Flocons, Doc Cook, and the Story Teller from the concert. I owe you all a drink.

Literally crawling out of bed at 6:45am...my calves were already cramped before we even reached the start line from improper rest and lack of hydration. Hops in water, does not water make.

Race Day:
Breakfast: peanut butter Cliff bar, tangerines, banana, bottle of water.

Consumed en route:

• 4 x Power Gels
• 2 x bananas
• lots and lots of water and some wierd berry flavour gatorade substance that was very very very good!!!

Now taking me as a 175lbs tank lumbering down the road, my gun time was 4:19:34, or roughly just over 6 minutes per kilometre.

At that pace, at my weight, I was burning an estimated 797 calories per hour. Over the run, I burned roughly 3455 calories, more than an entire days worth to sustain ourselves in a-plenty.

In 4 hours and 20 minutes.

I did not have my victory beer, I felt like I was going to puke.

When my stomach calmed down which took far longer than I'd anticipated, I thanked it's endurance with a few more bottles of Boreal Rousse and a seafood pizza, later a bottle of red wine, crackers and camembert. But I still feel like I'm going to puke, and I'm going to bed.