This is etched in stone

Whatever claims the other competitors may make, I can produce a concrete result: sponsorship! The Storymaster has agreed to back my campaign to thinness along with my chosen charity. As a yoga and martial arts expert, she has already provided additional benefits such as deftly slapping cookies out of my hand, and putting the fear of failure, and her subsequent wrath, in me.

I hastily march out The Storymaster's financial support of my cause because the first weigh-in is fast approaching, and I am not sure that I have made enough progress. What with Doctor Cook's hunger strike, and Opiate's gauntlet throwing, my simple strategy of eating less and moving more might not produce the results that a taskmaster like The Storymaster expects.

To be clear, you cannot back out of your financial commitment now, The Storymaster. Everyone knows about it!

I will continue following a sensible weight loss strategy until panic sets in and I resort to more colourful methods...stay tuned!