Fat Clothes for Fat Friends!

Very recently, I have managed to escape my dreaded size 38 fat pants, and now I'm at a more respectable size 34. It was a joyful accomplishment, but I faced the same dilemma as my kindred spirit Brian Alvarez. What would I do with all of my fat clothes?

I realized that despite my contempt for Brian Alvarez, he did what any normal person would do with his fat clothes. That is why I offered to give away my fat clothes to my fat friends in a previous blog post. My offer of generosity went unanswered... or so I thought. Lurking quietly in the shadows was a friend of mine who reluctantly coveted my fat clothes. My friend Mason Applesmith (names have been changed to protect the obesely innocent) bravely offered to take away my fat clothes.

Many years ago, Mason was kind enough to open up his condo gym to twice a week workout. He was one of the brave souls that took to long distance running the same year as I did. We would slave away at bulking up our flabby bodies. Little did we know that 10 years later, we would envy our flabby physiques of yesterday. You see, the stresses of career and married life have ravaged our bodies. We are now pot-bellied men staring into the headlights of middle age.

Mason believes that my fat pants will be his wake-up call to hit the gym once more. I hope this is the case. I hope that one day soon, he himself with be giving away his fat clothes to his fat friends! Thus the torch will be continuously passed on the fatter generations...

Does anybody want my fat clothes?

Hello friend. It's been a while since I've blogged on here. I wanted to say that things are going well. So well that I have several pairs of pants that fall off the waist, much like they show on the weight loss commercials. I've gone from wearing size 38 pants to size 34. I'm probably aiming to drop down to 32, but we'll see what happens.

This is all find and dandy... except that I have these giant pants in my closet and I want to give them away. While I'm running around in my slim fit size 34 pants, I want to share my joy by giving away my giant pants. Are you a size 38? Do you want these pants? Let me know.

Tight clothes vs. loose clothes

When you're a hot model, tight clothes look sexy. When you're an overweight man, tight clothes look terrible. So a natural recourse is for overweight people to wear loose clothes, as I have done so in the past. The problem is that baggy loose clothes only make you look bigger than you actually are. In fact, I had a closet full of "relax fit" jeans and extra large sweaters. Royal Pinguo has declared war on these terrible eye sores. They are slowly making their way out of my wardrobe and into the hands of the homeless. (We donate our old clothes, but it's creepy thinking that you may run into a homeless person who is wearing your old clothes... it's still better than giving them to your fat friends.)

With loose clothes out of the picture, I decided to boldly explore the other side of the spectrum. On Boxing Day, I bought clothes that were one size too small for me. For shirts and sweaters, this means medium. For jeans, this means size 34. (Thanks to Thinspiration, I can actually fit into 34's again... but it's not comfortable by any means.) What does this mean? It means I look ridiculous in tight clothes, but it's also a public reminder for me to try to fit into these clothes. That is a big bonus when it comes to wearing tight clothes. The human body is like a goldfish that adjusts to the size of it's bowl. If you wear loose baggy clothes, they start to fit you just fine after a while. If you wear tight clothes, you get constantly reminded to trim yourself down a bit.

On a side note, I weighed myself shortly after New Year's. After all the turkey, turkey, and more turkey... I weigh in at 204 lbs. It's a weight gain since the Thinspiration finale, but not by very much. I'm still close to breaking the 200 lb barrier. I'll let you know how it goes.