A predictable resolution

A vacation in Paris and the usual holiday binge-fest has resulted in the expected weight gain.

Pre-Paris: 122 lbs

Post-Christmas: 126 lbs

Frankly, I'm surprised that my body has held on so stubbornly to the vestiges of fitness.

Of course, I have the Toronto Half-Marathon (May 15, 2011) to train for, but I think some more immediate challenges might be in order. I have some suggestions:

My Own Personal Kichadi - the Kichadi diet was a winning strategy for Doctor Cook, but no one, not even Doctor Cook, wants to do it again. But, what if every competitor could choose their own "kichadi" to consume for a week? A chocolate cake strategy would be wonderful but result in weight gain. A gruel strategy could result in weight loss but kichadi-like suffering. How will competitors balance taste and nutrition?

My Own Personal Hell - Hot yoga is a exercise combining flexibility, strength and cardio challenges in one. It has also been called a form of torture. In an effort to entice new clients, many hot yoga studios offer trial periods for a lower price. All competitors could take advantage of this deal to see who is capable of taking the most punishment...er...mind blowing physical transformation.

New Year's Eve will be one last hurdle before everyone joins the Thinspiration XXL band wagon - hopefully the competitors will be amongst the passengers.

For the victims of whatever...

The mung beans have been eaten, the bowels have been emptied, and the scales have been tipped. The Thinspiration XXL weight loss competition has come to a close... but not before the fatties consider the unfortunate plight of "the victims of whatever..."

At the beginning of this competition, we vowed to raise pledges to donate 1 British pound for every pound we lost to the charity of our choice. As of today, the current exchange rate is 1 British pound = 1.6 Canadian dollars. Don't worry, victims of whatever... We have not forgotten you!

• Royal Pinguo lost 6 pounds, earning $9.60 per pledge for World Wildlife Fund.
• Flocons lost 9 pounds, earning $14.40 per pledge for Doctors without Borders.
• Thorn lost 10 pounds, earning $16.00 per pledge for Habitat for Humanity.
• Celestialspeedster lost 12 pounds, earning $19.20 per pledge for Second Harvest.
• Opiate lost 13 pounds, earning $20.80 per pledge for Partners in Health.
• Doctor Cook lost 24 pounds, earning $38.40 per pledge for Feed the Children.

Want more Thinspiration XXL? Not to worry. Due to loyal fans like you, the Thinspiration XXL competitors will return after a one week break for another angst-filled season of exercise and healthy eating. More details coming soon...

Want more charity? I am hoping to co-ordinate a clothing drive with the other contestants to collect clothes that are too big for them. We will then give away our fat clothes to our fat friends.

Master Mung Cleanse: By the Numbers

Like most things in life, putting numbers into a graphical form makes them better. Hey! Stop! Come back here! Really, it's true. And it's interesting. Check it out.

Calories consumed during the kichadi fast compared to calories burned due to basal metabolism.

As you can see, the kichadi fast was very effective in moderating my food intake, restricting my caloric intake to what is probably dangerous levels. From these numbers, I would have burned ~8800 calories more than I consumed during that week. This equates to approximately 2.5 lbs.

And yet, no weight loss? Or rather, only 0.5 lb of weight loss?

This leads to the question, is there an explanation for this discrepancy, or I am just full of shit? To answer this, I turn to the awesome power of graphs.

Excitement level and death wish with progression of the kichadi fast. Additionally, days since the last bowel movement (BM) are indicated.

There are a few major conclusions to be drawn from this graph. First, I do not like kichadi and mung. I do not like them, Sam-I-Sung. Second, over time I recognized that the pain of starvation was far preferable to the pain of eating kichadi. And thirdly, kichadi, as prepared, most definitely did not lead to more frequent pooing. As you can see, by the end of the competition, it had been 4 days since my last deposit.

In actuality, it turns out that the answer to the question posed above is both: there is an explanation, that being I *was* full of shit!

As such, any failure to lose weight can be attributed to this side-effect, and potentially to differences in water weight between our infrequent weight measurements.

Kichadi works. Believe in kichadi. You will lose weight. But you will also cry. Trust me. :(

On an important note, I would like to thank the Story Master for her support through this past week of pain. The kichadi fast had many upsides, including a great test of willpower, and a chance to examine my food-related desires in a more critical way.

I would even recommend it as a viable diet option for those with strong willpower and a large surplus of tissue paper (for crying, not pooing, obviously!).

...

Random boring (non-graphical) numbers:

Calories per cup of basmati rice (pre-cooking volumes): 600
Calories per cup of mung beans: 220
Calories per tablespoon of olive oil: 130
My basal metabolic rate: 2200 calories/day

Master Mung Cleanse: Mung Out to Dry, Day 7

Day 7: Tuesday

So long, kichadi!

Comments: The final day of kichadi. I started the day with a bland and flavorless meal of kichadi, forcing myself to stomach a whole meal in one sitting. I weighed in. And then I almost immediately began stuffing my face with cookies. Dinner was healthier, but decidedly delicious.

My goals: 1) To poo. I failed. Again. 2) To use the spices in kichadi to make something tasty, but not so rich that my poor digestive system will make me regret it for days.

Food choice: (Before weigh-in) Kichadi. (After weigh-in) Cookies; potato curry (recipe below); cheddar garden salad.

Total kichadi prepared: 1 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements); 0.5 cup of mung bean

Total Kichadi eaten: 100%

Beverage choices: Many glasses of water, Master Cleanse (minus maple syrup).

General feelings about life post kichadi meal: Jubilant. This is almost over!

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 1

Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 8

Side-effects of meal: Mild dizziness; dehydration; failure to poo

Days without pooing: 4

Food related dreams or fantasies: Not eating kichadi was the only dream I entertained, and it came true.

Occurrences of note: Still no bowel movements. After 4 days!

Weight before kichadi diet: 166.4 lbs
Weight after kichadi diet: 165.9 lbs

Conclusions (more to follow in a subsequent post): The diet appears not to have been very successful on a numerical level. However, the constipation endured as part of the kichadi fast likely factors into this equation. Anecdotally, numerous individuals with no ties to one another have informed me that I look like I've lost a noticeable amount of weight in the last few days. Stay tuned for the next weigh-in!

....

"Kichadi recovery" Potato curry (very mild):
Makes 4 servings
Calories/serving: ~550

Ingredients:

- 2 tbsp cumin
- 2 tbsp tumeric
- 2 tbsp ground coriander
- 1 tbsp mustard seeds
- 4 tbsp olive oil (tastier alternative: ghee)
- 1 jalapeno, finely diced (alternative: 1 tbsp cayenne)
- 6 medium sized white potatoes, peeled and cut into strips or cubes ~0.5 inch thick
- 3 cups water (tastier alternative: vegetable stock)
- 1 cup coconut milk (healthier alternative: low fat plain yogurt)
- 2 cups frozen peas
- salt to taste

Preparation:

Saute dry spices and jalapeno on medium heat in oil until spices brown (~1-2 minutes).
Add potatoes and mix thoroughly to cover with spices.
Cook ~10 minutes with frequent mixing.
Add water and simmer over low-medium heat until potatoes are soft (~30 minutes).
Add peas and coconut milk and heat until cooked (~5 minutes).

*Adapted from similar recipe listed on Allrecipes.com.

Challenge #2 conclusion: diets don't work

Based on our scientific study, Challenge #2: Money to Burn, diets do not produce exciting results for possible anorexics. Just look at those weigh-in results!

My Liquid Diet-cum-SlimFast 3-2-1 Plan would have been more effective if I had actually stuck with it consistently. I found myself in restaurants where they served delicious food in large portions, and I could not safely carry leftovers while riding my bike, so I carried it in the safest place possible (pats belly). Yet, my weight did not fluctuate as wildly as usual in between weigh-ins, and I attribute this to the predictable caloric intake of my diet.

While the meal replacement shakes make me look like a dieting idiot at work, but I am won over by its convenience. I did not have to rummage through the fridge each morning to combine tofu/chick peas/egg with whatever vegetable mix was in the freezer. The meal replacement shakes are also quick and easy to consume. It helps that I can drink chocolate meal replacement shakes day after day without gagging.

I will continue my Challenge #2 diet until the meal replacement shakes run out, and then maybe I'll buy some more. With the finale of Thinspiration XXL looming, I will need every gimmick that I can use.

Special K Everything & Then Some Day 7 (Wednesday)

Through my entire life "Wednesday" is one of those nonsensically arranged words I've just never been able to spell. When writing, I scribble. When typing, I mash the keyboard and hope for spell-check to do it's job.

Marathon Status Update:
Weather: Sunday forecast in Montreal is a high of 17c (good!!) but with 40% humidity (not good!!).

Re-experiencing cycling through the humidity this week has left me feeling ill and squishy. Precisely the kind of weather I hate. It saps any energy from my muscles and air from the lungs, leaves me feeling like I've got lead weights bolted to my skin, and my mind a hazy mess more so than a typical day.

When I'm hallucinating around 25-30k on Sunday, I'll be sure to say hi to FISH for everyone.

Survival Outlook: BLEAK. Unless the weather changes. I can stubbornly muddle through a lot of things but running 42km in 40% or more humidity is like kryptonite.

Breakfast:

• Special K in skim milk (regular 1 1/4 cup serving)
• OJ 200ml
• 2 special k bars
• apple buttermilk muffin with blackberry jam
  

Lunch:

• sandwich (standard build, bacon instead of salami this time)
• tangerine/peach in syrup mix
• green tea
• OJ 200ml

Dinner:

• meat ravioli with my weird tomato sauce
• steamed veggies
• OJ
  
• bacon
  

Exercise:

• 16km cycling
• too damn humid to do anything else
  

Master Mung Cleanse: Mung and dung, Day 6

Day 6: Tuesday


Comments: The second last day of kichadi. I feel terrible. The kichadi of the day is slightly too old. It is starting to smell. This should deter me from eating it for lunch. Yet it doesn't. Slightly expired kichadi has a unique flavor that I find myself unable to resist. That and I'm starving. At dinner, it is too expired, and I refrain from eating.

My goal: To poo. I failed.

Food choice: Day old microwaved kichadi, with mung beans. Slightly expired by lunch. Very expired by dinner.

Total old slightly expired kichadi remaining: ~1 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements); 0.5 cup of mung bean

Total Kichadi eaten: 50%

Beverage choices: Many glasses of water, Indian Spice herbal tea, Master Cleanse scares me today.

General feelings about life post meals: Optimistic. It will be over soon.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 4 (lunch); 0 (dinner)

Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 6 (lunch); 10 (dinner)

Side-effects of meal: Mild headache; terrible digestive issues; failure to poo

Days without pooing: 3

Food related dreams or fantasies: Continued perusal of the internet for delicious recipes. I crave indian food, though indian food that is delicious. Potato curry may be prepared on Wednesday, for consumption at 12:01am Thursday. Otherwise, nothing too unusual.

Occurrences of note: Still no bowel movements. However, I woke numerous times in the night feeling like "this was the time". It was always a lie.

Lessons to children: 1) Refridgerate food overnight. 2) Kichadi fasts are for grown-ups. 3) Cigarettes may be smooth and delicious and make you feel super cool, but wait until you're at least 14 to sneak behind the school and smoke one that you found on your brothers desk between you and 8 friends.

Special K Diet: Kelloggs vs. Kashi vs. Chicken Wings

I spent this past weekend preparing for my friend's wedding in Niagara region. Weekends are a tough time to follow diets because we are social and busy. Diets depend on routines, and only the most boring people have a regular routine for their weekends.

I ate terribly (or terribly well in some cases) this weekend. During this fiasco, I was able to finally try Special K bars. In fact, Royal Pinguo and I were stuffing our face with 2 bars each, in between doing wedding-related tasks. Given the choice between eating 10 Kashi crackers or one Special K bar (both 90 calories) I would choose the Special K bar hands down. For a far comparison, I would have to compare Kashi bars with Special K bars, but I haven't bought any Kashi bars yet.

The wedding was beautiful. The meal was Western-style. Normally, I go to Chinese weddings where they serve a filling 10 course meal. This was a sensible 4-course meal of light but high quality food. Phew! Since Royal Pinguo and I were the wedding MC's, we didn't eat as much as we could. We were saddened by this, but at least it was good for Thinspiration XXL.

On the flip side, we spent Monday shopping in the States. We took some time to visit the birthplace of Buffalo chicken wings. It's called The Anchor Bar on 1047 Main St. It was a small place tucked in the middle of nowhere. From these humble beginnings came the coveted pub food that has ruined the diets and figures of many. We sat down and ordered 100 wings. (That is not a typo... 100 wings.) That was shared between 5 people... with the intent on having leftovers. It was neat gone to the Anchor Bar, since it played such a pivotal role in pub food history. The actual chicken wings were nothing special, as I've had better wings elsewhere. I was tempted to go nuts and stuff my face with wings... but I stopped after 12 wings. Thinspiration XXL has taught me about portion control. We now have some leftover wings sitting in our fridge... slowly waiting to be eaten.

Saturday: (Wedding preparation and planning)

• Special K
• MilK
• Toast and jam
• Scrambled eggs
• Beef with pancaKe
• Shredded potato and vinegar
• Steamed porK bun
• Green bean with noodle
• Special K (again)
• MilK
• Nectarines

Sunday: (On the road, and at the wedding)

• Tim Hortons breaKfast sandwich (eww)
• BlacK tea
• Bagel with creme cheese
• Kashi cracKers
• Special K bar
• PumpKin soup
  
• SmoKed salmon appetizer
• Salmon and steak
• Strawberry cheesecaKe
• Lots of wine
  

Monday: (Cross-border shopping)

• PancaKes
• Scrambled eggs
• Sausage
• Iced tea
• ChicKen wings
• Diet CoKe
• Special K
• MilK

Weekend K-count: KKKKK KKKKK KKKKK KKKK

Special Everything Diet Day 6 (Tuesday)

I bought a coconut. Sobey's has them on sale for $1 each right now so I figure I'll try my hand at crackin' the bugger open and see if I'm successful without destroying my counter top or setting off a small thermonuclear milk explosion. Coconuts are healthy right?

Last night I visited the ex. She cut my hair for me so I don't run with a mop on my head come Sunday.

With the visit came the inevitable: BBQ'd Ribs and booze. When asked if I was hungry my rubber arm was tied in a knot. These ribs are an effective Holy Hand Grenade to any diet plan, and I thought I'd made progress working off the weekend's binge. Right.

We drank, we noshed. Her father dropped by in time for the ribs, got to play catch-up, drank some more, then her new beau came home and we had some laughs. Drank some more. Played with the dog. Drank some more.

All through this I learned a very valuable lesson:

That Coke Zero, no matter how attractive I find the models... is terrible in a drink.

My stomach is a churning disaster this morning and I lay the blame solely at the feet of the Coca-Cola company for this truly terrible concoction.

Breakfast:

• 2 bananas
• 1 special k bar
• 1 home made apple buttermilk muffin slathered in home made blackberry jam
• coffee with skim milk and sugar
• orange juice 200ml
  

Lunch:

• 2nd half of jalapeno sub
• orange juice 200ml

Snacks:

• 1 special K bar

Dinner:

• rum and coke
• rum and coke
• rum and coke
• rum and coke
• BBQ ribs
• rum and coke
• rum and coke
• rum and coke

Exercise:

• 24.5km cycling
  

Special Subway Everything : Day 5 (Monday)

I broke down, not due to any desire or urge, but time and hunger duress. I ate Subway, well half a Subway sub, the other is reserved for lunch on Day 6. I really am starting to hate Subway, not the mediocre food so much as the service. Lacking any form of I don't know....service.

The customer is always right?? When? It's sad that we live in a society where the customer always gets treated like crap unless they complain. Things like this happen all over the place, not just at Subway, no wonder I brown bag lunch as much as possible.

I ordered a sub, which you know has "toppings" on it. When the staff behind the counter only put on a few meagre pieces of peppers, onions and jalapeno....that just irks me so I asked politely for a bit more.

When someone orders something the length of their arm it's generally good to put more than 5 pathetic jalapeno or green pepper slivers on it. FIVE!!! I asked for more, got glares of hatred and malice, and smiled back all the while as they loaded it up, cut my super-stuffed footlong, I paid and left. Munched happily on the excess jalapenos especially after the sub exploded in happy spiciness on my desk.

They overloaded it on the jalapeno to the point they could barely wrap it, maybe hoping to punish my stomach for my insolence and were belligerent to me through the rest of the transaction. Little do they know...

It occurred to me how Jared may have lost all that weight: he likely never asked for more of a topping because the staff were rude, made him feel bad (or at least tried to) and glared at him like he was a freak.

Breakfast:

• special k with skim milk (only a normal serving this time)
• 2 special k bars
• green tea

Lunch:

• half of a footlong jalapeno sub that had some other stuff on it too, on a whole grain bun
  
• orange juice 200ml
  

Dinner:

• orange juice
• Bolthouse Farms Green Goodness (about 300ml)
• 2 bananas
• tangerine and peaches in light syrup
  

Exercise:

• 22km biking
• 1 hour dragon boat practice
  

Master Mung Cleanse: Enter the Mungon, Days 3-5

Day 3: Saturday

Comments: My third day of kichadi. My last day without mung beans. I am excited for mung beans.

My goal: Just one more day!

Food choice: Fresh kichadi

Total Kichadi prepared: ~2 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements).

Total Kichadi eaten: 75%

Beverage choices: Many glasses of water

General feelings about life post meals: Optimistic that tomorrow will be better.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 3

Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 5

Side-effects of meal: Fatigue; mild headache; poor digestion

Food related dreams or fantasies: Stared longingly at raw spaghetti. Picked up a piece and held it, wishing I could eat it, as is, knowing it to be far more delicious than kichadi.

Occurrences of note: Party at the house with wine, chips, and appetizers. I partook in none of these.

Day 4: Sunday

Kichadi fantasies

Comments: My first day of mung beans! My excitement was misplaced. Spent the afternoon with Thorn, celestialspeedster, and an outside observer, Jon.

My goal: Not to pass out.

Food choice: Day old kichadi, fried with mung beans.

Total Kichadi prepared: ~0.5 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements); 0.25 cup of mung bean

Total Kichadi eaten: 100%

Beverage choices: Many glasses of water, Master Cleanse in sparkling water (minus cayenne and maple syrup)

General feelings about life post meals: Depressed and fearful.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 1

Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 8

Side-effects of meal: Fatigue; mild headache; dizziness; inability to poo

Food related dreams or fantasies: Cannibalism. Or at least theft of the food of my competitors. If their hands were eaten as well, that would be okay.

Occurrences of note: Became so tired and dizzy that I needed to go home to eat more kichadi. By the time I got home, the idea of kichadi was so repugnant that I abstained from eating more.

Day 5: Monday
Comments: More than halfway through this diet and I feel awful!

My goal: I'm too tired for goals.

Food choice: Fresh kichadi, with mung beans

Total Kichadi prepared: ~2 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements); 1 cup of mung bean

Total Kichadi eaten: 50%

Beverage choices: Many glasses of water, Indian Spice herbal tea

General feelings about life post meals: Moderately depressed.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 2

Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 7

Side-effects of meal: Fatigue; mild headache; dizziness; inability to poo

Days without pooing: 2

Food related dreams or fantasies: Tempted by enticing smell at work. Commented on how delicious it smelled. It was yeast extract, which normally turns my stomach. Again eyed raw spaghetti longingly.

Occurrences of note: Nothing of note. Inability to poo is becoming slightly worrying. This seems to counter predictions of kichadi.

Canadian National Exhibition: destroyer of diets

Thorn and I attended the Canadian National Exhibition on Saturday and while we did no succumb to the deep fried butter, we did consume the following:

• breakfast mac and cheese with egg and sausage from the Mac and Cheesery (unfortunately, the mac & cheese was soft and tasteless)
• buffalo burger (excellent, as usual)
  
• poutine
• Maple Butter BeaverTail

We also bought some short bread cookies from Sprucewood Handmade Cookie Co after sampling them. We enjoyed Rosemary and Dark Chocolate, but bought Spicy Thai and Raspberry. They will be coming to a Thinspiration XXL showdown soon!

At no point did I have a meal replacement shake. In fact, I did try to bring a bottle of meal replacement with me, but Thorn gave me a dirty look so I put it back in the fridge.

The madness continued on Sunday, when we attended BuskerFest and ate delicious pub food in front of Doctor Cook, who died a little inside as he squeezed his lemon into his fizzy water. That evening, we ate dinner with Jon Levy at The Acme Burger Company. The burgers were fresh and tasted like real meat, but were otherwise unspectacular.

I am back to the Slim-Fast 3-2-1 Plan today:

• 3 Snacks: Banana, apple, peach
• 2 Meal Replacements: Life Brand Complete Meal Replacement Shake - Chocolate flavour
• 1 Balanced Meal: Scrambled eggs with cucumbers, string beans, green peppers and rice.

Special K Diet Days 3 and 4: Weekend at Calorie Hill

Where to even begin.... It all started with a Sapporo.

As always weekends blur into a mesh of random events one leading into another and it never really makes any sense as it's happening.

Saturday started at 3:30am-ish, not long after I went to bed after watching 3 crazy movies in a row. My sisters dog, love the furball but he decided to wake me up to go outside, doing his doggie business and play fetch in the dark. Then repeated it at around 8am.

Finally woke up proper around 11-something-er-other-ish to the order of "get ready we're leaving" ...um okay. Barely time to brush my teeth.

Arrival around 1pm-ish (still hazy): instant meetings with parents, family we'd not seen since this same event last year, new family I hadn't met before from BC, Manitoba and other parts of Ontario.... as all this is happening the Sapporo was opened and quickly followed by the first of many Keith's. All downhill from here trying to remember all these names.

Also discovered I have a cousin that works in the video game development industry, had a geek-out moment.

There was some chips and cheesies but beer as breakfast had to basically carry the day for a little while. We put a nice dent in the 24 of Keith's as the day wore on into night and the mosquitoes found us.

Though after so many Keith's it was refreshing when my cousin (also a beer snob) hands me a bottle of Edelweiss.... rough day eh?

Breakfast:

• 1 Sapporo 650ml
• several bottles Keith's IPA
• handful of potato chips
• handful of cheesies
• fresh air
  

Lunch and Dinner, one blended into the other, it just sort of never stopped:

• 2 cups Bacardi Lemon with pink lemonade
  
• more Keith's
• 1 bottle Edelweiss
• BBQ pork
• BBQ beef
• peanut cashew noodle salad stuff
• greek salad
• other salads of some kind
• other loads of heavy meal stuff I don't recall the names of but was all awesome
  
• cocktail shrimp and seafood sauce
• grapes
• watermelon
• pineapple
  
• strawberries
• potato salad
• more Keith's
• more chips
• more cheesies
• small coffee cake deserts
• small chocolate cake deserts
• small coconut deserts
• more Keith's
• 4 chocolate cupcakes
• caramel chocolate crunchy bark stuff (FANTASTIC!!!)
• and I'm sure there's more I'm simply forgetting, there was a lot!

Exercise:

• swimming
• keeping up with the kids
  
• 3 person game of horseshoes I lost with a meagre single point to my name
• walking around and mingling all day talking constantly, think I blab a lot? You haven't met the clan.

...and that was just Saturday

Sunday:

• Tim Horton's everything bagel with tomato and swiss
  
• 2 bottles orange juice
• cheeseburger topped with tomato onion lettuce mustard
• black bean (veggie) burger with the same but no cheese
• 1 bottle Keith's
• grapes
  
• raspberries
• strawberries
• olives
  
• pickles
  

Back home:

• special K bar
• bowl of PC whole grain Cheerios knock off (which actually tastes better!) in skim milk
• not so much fresh air
  

Special K Diet, Day 2: Enter the Kashi

Kashi is a new line of food products aimed at those who want to eat healthy and natural. They have issued the following challenge:

"Try a free box of Kashi Granola Bars. If you don't like them, I will eat the cardboard box they come in."

They also add this disclaimer in fine print:

"Laurie promises to eat a piece of the box, not the whole thing. His conviction is stronger than his stomach. "

Well, Kashi products are not an official part of the Special K Diet, but if I ate Kashi cracKers then it would add two K's to my daily K-count. I gave them a try today and they do taste good. They are 90 calories per 10 crackers. The crackers are small though. Coincidentally, a standard Special K cereal bar is also 90 calories. I will have to decide in the days ahead if I would rather eat a Special K cereal bar or 10 Kashi TLC crackers. In the end, I may choose neither.

I applaud Kelloggs and Kashi for trying to make healthier products and giving consumers a better choice of options... but I don't think cereal bars and crackers can complete with fresh fruits and vegetables. I find myself wishing that karrots and nektarines are not actually typos. I weighed myself today and I'm losing a bit of weight since my last weigh-in. Some progress thanks to the letter K.

Breakfast:

• Special K
• 1% milK (lactose-free)
• Scrambled eggs
• Toast and jam

Lunch:

• PorK and leeK dumplings
• Rice
• Shrimp
• Vegetables

Snack:

• Kashi TLC cracKers
  
• Karrots?
• NeKtarines?
• Special K (again)
• 1% MilK (again)
  

Dinner:

• JerK chicKen
• Rice

Daily K-count: KKKKKKKKKK

Master Mung Cleanse: Fear and Loathing (of Kichadi) in Toronto, Day 2

Day 2: Friday

Comments: My second day of kichadi. Cold, day old kichadi is the devil.

My goal: To survive.

Food choice: Cold, day old, soggy kichadi (breakfast and lunch), fresh kichadi (dinner).

Total old soggy Kichadi remaining: ~0.5 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements).

Total Kichadi prepared: ~1 cup of rice (pre-cooking measurements).

Total Kichadi eaten: 100%

Beverage choices: 1 glass of Master Cleanse, minus the maple syrup; very few glasses of water.


General feelings about life post meals: Mildly depressed.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 2

Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 6

Side-effects of meal: Gagging and near vomitting (cold kichadi), fear and loathing of cold day old kichadi, severe hunger during hours spent delaying eating kichadi, uncomfortable fullness after dinner, due to need to eliminate any chance of leftover cold day old soggy kichadi.

Food related dreams or fantasies: Tremendous desire to eat anything that isn't kichadi and lie about it afterwards. While preparing kichadi, strong desire to accidentally add considerably more salt. Again, impulses to drop kichadi on the ground and eat it.

Occurrences of note: Friends offered me cake. Roommates cooked bacon while I was preparing kichadi. Coworker offered me watermelon. Repeatedly offered drinks at house party. Strangely, the overall feeling by the end of the night was very positive.

I should have done the Slim-Fast 3-2-1 Plan

The Liquid Diet was not one of my better ideas. My math tells me that I'm taking in the right amount of calories, but after consuming nothing but liquid for the past 24 hours plus, I'm feeling lightheaded, yet dense at the same time.

Case in point, yesterday, when I was trying to meet up with Thorn, the conversation went like this:
Thorn: "We'll probably arrive at the apartment at 6pm."
Me: "So, I'll meet you at 7pm."
Thorn: "No, I said 6pm."
Me: "6:15pm then?"

It is time to resort to the Slim-Fast 3-2-1 Plan: 3 snacks, 2 meal replacement shakes, and 1 sensible meal. I like the "sensible" part of this strategy!

Breakfast:

• Milk with Chocolate Ovaltine (2 cups)

Lunch:

• Life Brand Complete Chocolate Meal Replacement Shake (1 bottle)

Snacks:

• Fruit Punch (300 ml)
• Kashi Bar (1 bar)
  
• Japanese rice cakes (pack of 2)

Dinner:

• Some vegetables and starch - no meat as per my weekday vegetarian diet

I have not been so eager to eat solid food since I did the Kichadi fast. Thank goodness I'm not doing that! Haha!

Special K and Everything: Day Two (Friday)

I like Special K, but the 1 1/4 cup serving size is almost embarrassing though I can see that being feasible for people with different dietary requirements and lifestyles. Like Flocons I as always was also hungry very soon afterward even with the overdosed helping.

The bars are yummy too, but also not very filling, at 90 calories each I'm not expecting them to be but last night when packing my lunch for today I had to catch myself and stay my hand from simply throwing the remaining 8 bars from both boxes into my pack. I'd have eaten all of them by mid-morning.

I'm in trouble now, will be staying with family this weekend so healthy eating and portion control are both out the window no matter how hard I try.

Breakfast:

• Special K and skim milk (about 2-3 servings worth, small bowls are for dipping sauces not cereal)
  
• 1 Special K bar, vanilla
  
• 1 cup of coffee, skim milk and sugar
  
• 1 21g snacker size of Kraft Brick cheese
  

Lunch:

• Sandwich (same as yesterday but with more hot sauce and tomatoes)
  
• corn cob
  
• OJ 200ml
  
• 1 Special K bar, mocha
  

Snack:

• 1 granny smith apple

Dinner (arrival at the home of family):

• 1 HUGE ass steak, grilled with some mesquite seasoning
• fettuccine alfredo with broccoli
  
• grilled potatoes and peas
  
• Bick's low salt pickles
• olives stuffed with jalapenos
• 70% dark chocolate
• rye and ginger
• Pelee Island red wine

Exercise:
NONE. I took the subway to work, then the train down to visit family. Sat in a car being picked up at the train station, and after dinner watched 3 movies: Kick Ass, Don't Mess with the Zohan and The Book of Eli.

All in all I spent an inordinate amount of time sitting on my ass.

I didn't even get into the Liberte blackberry yogurt and PC Chocolate ice cream we'd grabbed on the way home. Too bad, those are yummy.

Special K Diet: Day 1

The Special K is filling initially, but as the morning wears on, I get hungry. Maybe that's why it's only PART of a balanced breakfast. I'll probably supplement it with something else as the week goes on. It was a tricky process to find food items that contain the letter K, but I was able to find 2 food products that had double K's in them. For those of you that question my logic of basing my diet on an alphabetical theme... well, you are not alone.

Thinspiration XXL has been a good development for me. In the past few weeks, people have been going up to me and telling me that I look like I've lost weight. This is quite the ego-boost and good positive re-enforcement of some of the healthy changes I've been making. On the flip side, in the past 2 weeks I've had people telling me that I look like I'm starting to gain my weight back again. My performance in the past 2 weeks has not been great. I made the long trek down to 201 pounds... but I started climbing back up to 203... and apparently those 2 pounds are noticeable.

Breakfast:

• Special K
• 1% milK

Lunch:

• ChicKen teriyaKi and sushi lunch
• Water

Snack:

• Carrots
• Rice caKe

Dinner:

• JerK chicKen
• Rice
• Corn
• Water
• Half a mango

Today's K-count: KKKKKKK

Master Mung Cleanse: Food & feelings, Day 1

Day 0: Wednesday night


Comments: My last meal before kichadi.

My goal: To indulge.

Food choice: Vegetarian burger with fries from a nearby Firkin pub.

Beverage choice: Pint of Richards White, with a slice of orange.
Second beverage choice: Pint of Richards White, also with a slice of orange.
...
Sixth beverage choice: Oh, you get the point.

General feelings about life post meal: Overwhelmingly happy.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 10

Side-effects of meal: Slurred speech, slight nausea, poor decision making ability, and terrible headache 8 hrs later.

Food related dreams or fantasies: Dreams of hamburgers. Again. Seriously.

Occurrences of note: Fueled by non-kichadi, I found the energy to sing in public and harrass strangers for hours.

Day 1: Thursday


Comments: My first day of kichadi. It smelled delicious. Smells can be deceiving.

My goal: To destroy the Thinspiration competition.

Food choice: Kichadi. Kichadi. And more kichadi. That is all.

Total Kichadi prepared: ~2 cups of rice (pre-cooking measurements).
Total Kichadi eaten: ~75% of prepared amount.

Beverage choices: 1 glass of Master Cleanse, minus the maple syrup; many glasses of water.

General feelings about life post meals: It could always be worse.

Excitement level regarding eating kichadi (0-10; 0 = revolted, 10 = too much Botox): 3
Likelihood that I would rather starve than eat kichadi (0-10; 0 = never, 10 = kill me now): 4

Side-effects of meal: Headache (see day 0), more frequent pooing and spitting, more keen senses, particularly as relates to how delicious other people's food must be, loss of overall appetite.

Food related dreams or fantasies: Strong desire to go for a run, if only so that I can lick the sweat off my arm while I eat, thus seasoning the terribly bland kichadi. Additionally, impulse to drop kichadi on the ground and eat it, hoping that the ground will have more flavour than kichadi.

Occurrences of note: Roommates offered me fried chicken in the morning. Friends offered me ice cream cake in the afternoon. I cried on the inside.

Challenge # 2 Day One

Breakfast:

• banana
  
• nature valley fruit and nut bar
  
• special k bar vanilla
  
• V8 low sodium 156ml (1 serving of veggie here!)
  
• PBJ (1/2 tbsp of each, reduced fat PB and home made blackberry jam) on 1 slice of bread (Dempster's Ancient Grains)
  
• Orange juice 200ml
  
• Green tea
  

Lunch:

• sandwich: whole grain flatbread bun, 2 slices salami, 3 thin slivers of old cheddar, hefty amounts of fresh tomato, onion and romaine lettuce with a dash of hot sauce.
  
• corn cob
  
• Orange juice 200ml
  
• V8 low sodium 156ml

Snacks (pre- & post-dragon boat practice):

• 1 tbsp garlic hummas (just polished off the tub)
  
• 2 Flash 5 bars
  
• 1 granny smith apple
• 1 glass Orange juice

Dinner:

• 3 slices cajun chicken pizza at the Sunnyside Cafe
  
• pint of Keith's White (did not eat the orange slice for some reason)

Exercise:

• 22km cycling
  
• 1 hour dragon boat practice

So it begins....I didn't wake up with enough time to have a bowl of Special K for breakfast so the bars had to suffice. The sandwich was my standard meat/cheese/veggie build but I lessened up on the meat and cheese, doubled up on the vegetation and passed on the mayo and mustard.