Epilogue...whatever...

Thinspiration XXL has died with a whimper instead of a vengeance. Or perhaps, it just ate too much and is now hibernating.

Here's the epilogue and some of it might even be true.

celestialspeedster continues to count calories and has started exercising on a regular basis. Hot yoga is her latest thing and she will continue to do it until winter goes away. Unfortunately, she has signed up for the Toronto Half-Marathon and will be forced to run in the cold at some point.

Doctor Cook continues to make questionable life choices like eating frosting for dinner. He will be moving to the West Coast in the new year where taking up snowboarding or taking up a drug habit are both equally plausible. Well, at least the competitors of Thinspiration XXL won't be legally liable for that one. Ha!

Flocons plans to sign up for the Toronto Half-Marathon, but, first, he must survive the avalanche of food to come in December. Unfortunately, his baking skills are in high demand nowadays, and every good baker must sample his own goods.

Opiate has bucked the trend by signing up for the Mississauga Half-Marathon, which happens at the same time as the Toronto Half-Marathon. It is a smart choice since Mayor Hazel McCallion will likely knight Opiate, bestowing upon him a ham and a condo right beside Square One, whereas Mayor Rob Ford will probably throw pork hocks at runners of the Toronto event from his penthouse condo.

Royal Pinguo will attempt to hold Flocons back from the December buffet. When she loses weight in the new year, it will be for herself, and not that cute Cuban guy she met during a recent vacation. No, not at all.

Thorn is still Batman.

The end...for now...

For the victims of whatever...

The mung beans have been eaten, the bowels have been emptied, and the scales have been tipped. The Thinspiration XXL weight loss competition has come to a close... but not before the fatties consider the unfortunate plight of "the victims of whatever..."

At the beginning of this competition, we vowed to raise pledges to donate 1 British pound for every pound we lost to the charity of our choice. As of today, the current exchange rate is 1 British pound = 1.6 Canadian dollars. Don't worry, victims of whatever... We have not forgotten you!

• Royal Pinguo lost 6 pounds, earning $9.60 per pledge for World Wildlife Fund.
• Flocons lost 9 pounds, earning $14.40 per pledge for Doctors without Borders.
• Thorn lost 10 pounds, earning $16.00 per pledge for Habitat for Humanity.
• Celestialspeedster lost 12 pounds, earning $19.20 per pledge for Second Harvest.
• Opiate lost 13 pounds, earning $20.80 per pledge for Partners in Health.
• Doctor Cook lost 24 pounds, earning $38.40 per pledge for Feed the Children.

Want more Thinspiration XXL? Not to worry. Due to loyal fans like you, the Thinspiration XXL competitors will return after a one week break for another angst-filled season of exercise and healthy eating. More details coming soon...

Want more charity? I am hoping to co-ordinate a clothing drive with the other contestants to collect clothes that are too big for them. We will then give away our fat clothes to our fat friends.

You've been struck by a Smoothie Criminal

There was a time when breakfast was a fried egg sandwich or scrambled eggs and pork sausages. If I was in a rush, I would pick up a Tim Hortons breakfast sandwich or an Egg McMuffin. If I was really in a rush, I would skip breakfast entirely.

Those days are no more. I've started making smoothies this week. It's the lazy man's way to pack fruits and vegetables into your meal. The jolt of fruits and veggies is a good boost at the beginning of my day. Royal Pinguo also likes it.

DIY breakfast smoothies are awesome because it ups your fruit/vegetable intake and displaces the greasy and/or caffeinated junk that people normally have for breakfast. You get to choose what goes into the smoothie too! This morning we had an apple-kiwi smoothie which was pretty awesome. I threw it together since we ran out of oranges last night.

Now the sign of a healthy smoothie depends on your fruit to vegetable ratio. More vegetables are better. Currently my smoothies are 90% fruit, but I'm working on introducing more vegetables to the mix gradually. The extra fiber is also handy for reasons I won't mention...

P.S: Thinspiration XXL Finale on Sunday! Join us live at the Musket for the Thinspiration XXL after-party. More debauchery than a TIFF after-party, I guarantee you!

Killing me softly with your food...

An old friend invited Royal Pinguo and a few of our friends to a decadent dinner at their home. In our busy lives, it is a luxury to be able to sit down with friends and have a REAL meal together... A meal that we didn't order over a telephone or a fast food counter. This was a remarkable meal worth blogging about. Our hosts stayed up until 3am in the morning to prepare this dinner, and they spared no expense. Quite simply, it was the most delicious home-made dinner I've had in memory. It started with bruschetta and mini-quiches. I was told not to fill up on this because it was only a warm-up.

I saw the BBQ being fired up and several rib-eye steaks being grilled to perfection by the resident steak expert. Our gracious hosts advised us to fill up on the steak. If it wasn't enough then they would have "plain rice" as filler.

The "plain rice" was actually mushroom risotto, the host's signature dish. I never really knew why risotto was such a big deal until I had this dish. Our host also prepared steamed mussels for us.

Royal Pinguo and I had seconds and were very full. Then our hosts said "Wait, we also have dessert!" They brought out small ceramic cups and started sprinkling sugar over the contents... then they brought out the mini-torch, we realized that dessert was creme brulee!

Royal Pinguo and I shared one between us... our stomaches couldn't fit any more delicious food. At the end of the evening, we sat around the leftovers and talked until the early hours of the morning. I must thank our gracious hosts for putting together such a wonderful meal. It was truly a treat.

Epilogue:

Since this is the Thinspiration XXL blog, I have pondered the consequences of this meal. It meant that I gained 2 pounds this week. That was not good. Throughout these last 10 weeks, I've cut the junk food from my diet, and I believe I've done a good job on this. But what about amazing food? It's much easier to say no to fried chicken than to say no to a well cooked steak. In these cases, portion control seems like the best way to go. I don't think I did a good job of that in this particular case... Do I regret that? Not a chance. :)

Thinspiration XXL Finale on September 19

Ladies and gentlemen,

The Thinspiration XXL Final Weigh-in will take place on:

Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Musket (40 Advance Rd, Toronto, ON)

Prior to gorging on wiener schnitzel and pork hocks, we will determine who is the thinnest of us all. Prepare to be amazed!*

If you would like to attend, please RSVP to celestialspeedster.

*Not a guarantee of amazement; more like wishful thinking.

Is it really harder for women to lose weight?

Before

After

Yes, it is.

Memoirs from a bake sale

I spent all of Saturday baking items loaded with sugar and butter. It was all for a good cause, but since I am participating in Thinspiration XXL, I felt a bit like a vegetarian working in a butcher shop. Surrounded by sweet treats for the last 2 days has not been easy. The plus side of it is that I have been desensitized to it all. While the average person may be lured in by the smell of freshly baked cookies, I am immune. (Much like how the inhabitants of Buffalo no longer notice that their city smells like a sewer.) With all the baking and selling, I experienced the strange paradox being surrounded by food, but starving because I couldn't eat it.

Since I have baking on my mind, I'll review what I made this weekend. The key to a good bake sale is variety. You want at least one item that someone will want to buy.

Rice Krispies Squares are really easy to make. It's low-hanging fruit in the world of bake sales. It doesn't have a stigma of being too unhealthy, because the main ingredient is cereal. However, people conveniently forget that the other ingredients are butter and marshmallows. In the world of bake sales, nothing is sinless. Every item has sugar and/or butter.

Chocolate chip cookies are standard issue. People buy them because these cookies are comfortable and familiar. These babies are full of sugar, butter, and chocolate... but in fairness, they don't pretend to be healthy. I can't say the same thing for the next type of cookies.

These are oatmeal raisin walnut cookies. These are aimed at the customers that want to eat healthy. These cookies are less honest than their chocolate chip counterparts. These guys are also full of sugar and butter. There's no such thing as a healthy cookie. (But you should still have "healthy items" for those who would believe that eating a Big Mac is okay as long as you drink Diet Coke with it.)

At the opposite end of the spectrum are brownies. Brownies are always good sellers at bake sales because they are aimed at the indulgent customers. They are unapologetic about their sweetness, and contain a stupid amount of sugar and chocolate. Brownies are very dense, and will contain more calories per bite than any other item at the bake sale.

Cupcakes are essential mini-cakes. Cupcakes use the same ingredients as regular cake, but instead of pouring it into a cake pan, you pour it into a muffin tray. In the "evolution of baked goods", muffins and cupcakes diverged into different branches. Muffins are loaded with butter, while cupcakes are loaded with sugar. There are more differences than that, but those are the only ones worth nothing for the purposes of Thinspiration XXL.

These particular cupcakes are dressed up like Super Mario green mushrooms, which I affectionately call "1-upcakes". In the context of the bake sale, this is an eye-catching conversation item that caters to customers who enjoy novelty and creativity. These items may not sell well because they are different, but they will generate buzz. Customers will come to see it, and end up buying other goods.

This is candy sushi. It's another novelty item that is quite creative but labour-intensive. Royal Pinguo helped me make these, and we had fun putting them together. The base is Rice Krispies square mix, topped with candy mango or gummy fish. The nori is fruit-by-the-foot or any long flat candy you can find. Candy sushi tastes like a bad mix of random candy, but it sells because of good presentation and visuals. The majority of sales were made to children. That is another type of customer you want to cater to.

A few months ago, I made chocolate-covered bacon for a bake sale. This item is in the "I dare you to eat this" category. It's sort of like the ultra-spicy chicken wing challenge at your local pub, or the giant steak that you have to finish in 3o minutes to get for free. These items do not sell well, but they may generate buzz and conversation for your bake sale.

Doctor Cook rose to the challenge and bought my chocolate-covered bacon. I appreciated his support, when others made snarky remarks like "I don't want to eat that because I don't want to die." I wonder if that chocolate-covered bacon is the reason why he is participating in Thinspiration XXL in the first place... So to Doctor Cook, I say both "thank you" and "I'm so sorry..."

Competitor Profile: Royal Pinguo

Thinspiration Competitor Profile

Name: Royal Pinguo

Current Weight: 144 lbs

Goal: 130 lbs

Lowest Adult Weight: 110 lbs

Dietary restrictions (specify physiological or moral): Minty Gum, Diary Product, Foie Gras

Favourite food(s): Apple

Least favourite healthy food: Cabbage

If you could eat only one food for the duration of your life, what would it be: Apples! There are so many different kinds and I am hoping I won’t get bored of eating them.

Number of times you have woken up with food in your mouth: Never. I have nightmare of toothache so no food for me at night not even in the dream.

Number of fantasies you have had featuring food or food covered celebrities: Same as above, fear of toothache

Exercise strategy: Join expensive Gym and hope I will go since I have paid for it. It failed badly.

Thinspiration celebrity: She-Ra Princess of Power. I always wanted a waist like that and the super power is nice too.

Favourite workout music: No music for me. I like to watch TV on the Treadmill in stead. Prefer any of the murder show.

Weighty sob story: I have to go to many weddings every year. It gets harder and harder to find dresses that fit me nicely and remain the same size.

Celebrity you would eat first, if the situation became dire, of course, not just as an enjoyable past-time: Matthew McConaughey. I really don’t like him and definitely do not feel bad to grill or BBQ him when desperate.

Charitable beneficiary: World Wildlife Fund - I miss being vegetarian not only save many animals from being eaten by me also save many pounds from growing on me.