Competitor Profile: Thorn

Name: Thorn

Current Weight: 176

Goal: 163

Lowest Adult Weight: 155

Dietary restrictions (specify physiological or moral): I have no moral or religious dietary restriction. The more morally ambiguous the better. I have an aversion to ginger. The root and also the hair colour.

Favourite food(s): Instant noodles. I can eat mountains of the stuff. If I buy a full box it would be gone by the end of the week (there are usually more than 30 packages to a box). I think they put something in MSG that's akin to heroine.

Least favourite healthy food: Brown rice. I thought I'd like it. It is rice after all and I'm naturally attached to that amazing starch. However, the texture just kills it for me. It makes eating rice a chore when it should be a pleasure. I don't want to work when I eat.

If you could eat only one food for the duration of your life, what would it be: See above re: instant noodles. Why wouldn't you want to eat your favourite food for the rest of your life? I guess the alternative would be strawberry icecream from Häagen-Dazs. This is what originally made me fat. I guess I loved it enough to ignore the fact that my waistline was expanding.

Number of times you have woken up with food in your mouth: None.

Number of fantasies you have had featuring food or food covered celebrities: The only time was wanting to re-enact the food scene with Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks. I saw that when I was way too young to see those sorts of things.

Exercise strategy: To reduce the water weight in my body. If the body is 80% water, I suppose I can drop it down to 70% and still be alive. I figure that's enough to get me below my desired weight. Okay, so I'll be severely dehydrated but at least I'll still eat good food without the need to exercise.

Thinspiration celebrity: Gerard Butler in 300 and not Gerard Butler in 300 Pounds.

Favourite workout music: I tend not to workout with music but if I had to then it would be this one. Or random dance/pop music.

Weighty sob story: When my size large shirts started feeling a bit snug I knew I had to stop eating those quarts of Häagen-Dazs ice cream every few days. I was wearing big people clothes.

Celebrity you would eat first, if the situation became dire, of course, not just as an enjoyable past-time: One of the Two Fat Ladies. The living one. Imagine how marbled she must be. They cooked with lard their whole life, it's like eating Kobe Humans.

Charitable beneficiary: Habitat for Humanity, because everyone deserves a place to live. Even me. They didn't build my house though. Bastards.